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ok, this one is from the journal before this one, but i wanted to put in here again.

Fill in the space

All the people in the world,
surround me like a cloud of happy,
but me,
I am not happy,
I am not even alive,
the people around me have life,
love,
everything they could ask for,
I don’t,
I have nothing,
I don’t even have a breath to breathe,
love isn’t even an option for me,
I will never find life or love,
it just can’t be done,
it sounds unfair,
and it is,
but I’ve learned fair isn’t even in existence when you are me,
everyone gets what they want and deserve,
I want it all,
but I apparently deserve nothing,
why am I here,
there can’t be a point to my being here,
the living belong here,
the loved belong here,
but I have neither life nor love,
I am here to fill in the spaces,
and only for that.

now this one i made about 10 mins ago

Let me pick up the pieces

The pain I feel,
means nothing to you,
you shouldn’t care about me if you don’t try,
if you don’t understand,
don’t try to,
don’t sin yourself for knowing me,
give yourself respect,
if you only have enough for one person,
if you ask me if I’m okay,
I’ll say no,
but don’t try to help,
it won’t work,
my problems,
are mine,
I wouldn’t want you to give yourself stress because of me,
you don’t have to care about me,
if you only care about me when I feel bad,
because I feel bad all the time,
and caring that much,
is a waste of time,
in which that time,
you could be using right now,
using it to break my heart,
it’s okay to break it,
it’s happened before,
it will eventually heal,
I’m not sure when,
but it will sometime,
it hasn’t happened before,
but all the hope I have left goes into hoping it will heal,
so just go ahead,
break my heart,
and let me pick up the pieces.