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The Crimson
~by Atreyu

I feel it welling up inside
And Robert Smith lied,
Boys do cry and with
Blood tears in my eyes I’m an Anne Rice novel come to life.
I can’t hide the monster… anymore.
One can, only feel desolate for so long until
One starts to change into
Something the mirror doesn’t recognize.
Metamorphosize.
The darkness has been biding it’s time
To claim its latest victim,
Fresh meat for carnal desires,
To become, what I became.
I viewed the sun for the last time.

Will you still hold me when you see what I have done?
Will you still kiss me the same,
When you taste my victim’s blood?
So crimson and red,
I feel it flowing from your lips. (Crimson and red)
My heart is dead and so are you.

And it pulses through,
The desire to change, to deconstruct
All of my,
All of my past failings.
But where to begin because when you live in sin
It’s hard to look at saints,
Without them reflecting your jet black aura back on you.
And all I have is hope,
My inner burn’s not fading,
I’ll wipe the blood from my cheek and get on with my day.

Will you still hold me when you see what I have done?
Will you still kiss me the same,
When you taste my victim’s blood?
So crimson and red,
I feel it flowing from your lips. (Crimson and red)
My heart is dead and so are you.

And all I have is hope
And all I need is time
To bury in pine under six feet of time
The lies I told me about myself.
Claw my way out,
Pick the splinters from under my fingernails.
I won’t lose hope,
I won’t give in.
Just live and breathe, try not to die again.
Just live and breathe, try not to die again.
Just live and breathe, try not to die again.
Try not to die again.

Will you still hold me when you see what I have done?
Will you still kiss me the same,
When you taste my victim’s blood?
So crimson and red,
I feel it flowing from your lips. (Crimson and red)
My heart is dead and so are you.

I unfortunately went to church today. It made me realize how truely wicked and horrid I am....
God, I'm starting to regret getting close to anyone, because I want to die and they won't let me....
I wish I was never here, that no one had to ever care, that it wouldn't turn out this bad....
I hurt people in more ways than I or they ever like or want to let on, but I'm like an infection. A disease........ A curse.
I'm just a pathetic pathogen. Nothing more, and never will be....