Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

Report This Entry Subscribe to this Journal
He whispered cold lies into my ear while I slept, tainting me in my weakest hour. When I close my eyes, I can hear them, icy wind against my eardrum, and I can't help but wonder if they're true...


the cheese to my macaroni
Community Member
avatar
2 comments
And this little piggy said, "I'll wait til ur gone to cry."
Dear Journal,

Itz dark outside. I just finished my homework and I'm feeling a little depressed. I thought that being with K.Waio would be cool. No one seemed against and everyone seemed to support me. But suddenlt I feel like my whole world has broken in half.

Kimerald has always been a good friend of mine. We've know each other for three whole years. For that whole time she's liked him. She told me that she was over him but I know better. She still likes him and I know that now. It hurt me so bad when she told me.

She wrote it in her hjournal for everyone to see. I feel so horrible. Like I stole something from her. I don't know why but I just started to cry. My eyes hurt now and I feel really tired. But I can't go to sleep rite now. My heart is too heavy. I have to write or I mite exploded.

A part of me knew that she still had sum feelings for him. I guess her cheers were too gud to be true. I appreciate dat she did that for me but i wish she could have told me the truth. If it really hurt her that bad, I wouldn't have said any of that stuff to her. I don't wanna lose Kimerald over sum guy.

I wish that I was little again. Everyone would believe in cooties and germs. It never hurt this much before to be dumped. I don't think I've felt this depressed in a long time. I just hope that Kimerla dknows I'm sorry. And that I won't do it again. I just wish that I had known before. I should have seen it earlier. She shudd told me how she felt.

Gosh. I'm starting to cry again. I feel so guilty for doing that to her. I'm such a horrible friend and I HATE MYSELF for letting it go this far. I feel so STUPID and PATHETIC. I should've put her before him. He's just a guy...who should be hers. Everyone should be pressuring him to go out with her, not me. Everyone should be saying "Kimerald and K."

I haven't fought for a guy for three years. The last time it happened, I lost my best friend. I hate her for doing all those horrible, mean things to me before, but I don't blame her. It was my fault too. I don't wanna lose Kimerald the same way. I don't wanna cry over losing a friend.

I am such a horrible person. I hate that I let her suffer. I hate that I let her put up a brave front. I hate that I was stupid enough to believe that she was over him. Itz ok. I'll be ok.

And if tomorrow, I cry a river, at least I know that it was for the best.

Tonight, yes, this night
I'll break my own heart
No
I won't let him break me
I'll break myself
For my friend
My tears will fall
F
A
L
L
I'll let him go
I'll let her go
I'll wish them luv
Hurt in silence
Break
But at least
They'll be so much more
HAPPIER than me


questions...
1] do u hate me?
2] am i doing da rite thing by backing off?
3] is it stupid of me to cry?
4] have u ever felt this way?
5] Forgive me 4 being so stupid?





User Comments: [2]
iiKath x 3
Community Member





Tue May 15, 2007 @ 06:18am


1] do u hate me? No because i know that Ericka definately does not like K. and that's enough reaon for me to not hate you. UNLESS she still liked him which is not true, cuz wer close like dat. Then i'd get all bitchy all over the place. cuz i care for her and u as well
2] am i doing da rite thing by backing off? No, you should go for it. Don't be like me, trust me it's not nice being like me. U should go forth before it's all over. Hey it's like wat pplz say = "Speak now or forever hold ur peace"
3] is it stupid of me to cry? Yes, u are crying for a good reason, i know. You dont want to hurt ericka. and i dont want that 2 happen cuz u know, wer close like dat xd . But agen it's pointless. im sorri to say this. BUT EVERYTHING IS OK!!!!.. ericka is going 2 b fine w/ it. she's totalli over him, i noe cuz u now wer close like..HAHA okei ill shut up domokun
4] have u ever felt this way? Umm no, cuz i hae nvr liked a guy and had a frend who also liked him. and bsides my lovelife is worsest of them all
5] Forgive me 4 being so stupid? Yes, i forgive you, thx for thinking about ericka's feelings first...u r a verii gud frend!!!!


xXxkimeraldxXx
Community Member





Wed May 16, 2007 @ 12:49am


maria......i dont like him anymore im just tellin u dat because i care about u....i mean i dont want u to get hurt because of him..and i noe ur emotional so i have to back off...dont worry about me...i only said dat because i love u(as a bff) and i care for u very much..i dont want my bff to be hurt and if he hurts u i will kill him! 3nodding but go for it... idont really care.... surprised im doin dis for u not for me...if i hurt ur feelings i am sorry but u didnt hurt mine... I PROMISE U DAT AND I ALSO PROMISE NOT TO GET IN UR WAY BETWEEN U AND HIM wink wink TRUST ME I WILL SUPPORT U WHEREVER...OR WHOEVER maria dont take it d wrong way if u really like him go for it i dont care i will support u I PROMISE BESTIE I WONT LET ANYTHIN TO RUIN OUR FRIENDSHIP EVEN A BOY CANT TAKE DAT AWAY FROM US REMEMBER DAT 4laugh 4laugh 4laugh I LOVE U MARIA(AS A BFF) AN I WILL ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU...(IF UR MAD AT ME ITS OK....I DESERVE IT whee ) heart heart heart heart


User Comments: [2]
 
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum