drowning in sorrow

• Artist: xxblackxdovexx
• Description: please comment all my poetry. if you hate it and think it's really bad... post a comment. it you love it and want more... post a comment. i love to see what people think... it also makes me feel that some one is reading and listening to me.
• Date: 06/07/2010
• Tags: drowning sorrow

somebody help me!
i'm drowning in sorrow
no one is listening
will i be here tomorrow?

somebody care for me!
i need a friend.
someone who is there
until the end

Somebody love me!
hold on to me tight
and kiss me
every time i fright

can anyone hear me?
will anyone come?
i'm all alone
i'm foolish and dumb.

no one cares for me
i'll die in sorrow
no one will save me
not today, not tomorrow.

Comments

[Th3 PrInCeEsS]

So deep...I didn't like it so much....Because...I LOVED it
I can be your friend and stand next to you all the time..It's not a problem...And I feel how you feel...I livin' with the same way....But you should keep holdin' on in this life...5/5
Oh Hey...I do write poetry too...Read mine and tell me what do you think!!!! =)

[Mario the Davidic Hero]

oh... my... god....

that's just VERY FANTASTICALLY WONDERFUL, i must say! great details.... perhaps u need to work on your line flow frequently, but other than that.... 5/5

[sasukeluvr7]

i love it soooooo much and i can feel ur pein (pain), i can feel ur sorrow, i no u need happyeness yes everone does...oh and since u need a friend (u send u did) friend me and purplefire1414...we will gladdy say "yes" smile smile smile
(from purplefire1414) ps. i love this poem vary much thanks for the great read ^_^

[xxblackxdovexx]

hey thanks for the tip

[Jozhuwah Ben Zaiden]

It's pretty good smile I like how you went back to the first stanza at the end. Your rhyme pattern is also pretty good. To keep improving your poetry, I'd might work on rythm or flow. Other than that it's wonderful. smile

[ChydiZZy]

oh...em....gee..... I love that. Please continue writing poetry, because that above, is really good.