Amber's Tragedy... TT___TT
oh why must it be
that life is so cruel
unfair and unjust
must this be the rule?
Halloween was my 27th b-day and i also got married that night.. a lot of relatives come up for the wedding. Oct. 30th, i was hanging out with a cousin at another house playing video games till about 1am. when john (my husband) and i went home, he gave me a b-day gift and we talked in the livingroom for a little bit. afterwards i went to my room to change into pjs. my 5 ferrets stay in that room and when i walked by, i gave them a new scoop of food and i noticed that Sabbie was sleeping in the bucket ( it's really a little container with a blanket in it that some of the fuz like to sleep in ) instead of the hammick. Sabbie looked so cute, all curled up and peacful, i just had to reach in and pet him. when i pet him, i noticed he was as cold as ice. i yelled for john and said something was wrong, as soon as john came in there, i told him how cold sabbie was. john went to pick him up and poor little sabbie was all stiff and cold. it looks like he had passed away sometime late night? not really sure. he was in perfect health as far as we knew. earlier that day he was active and playful. i have no clue what killed him. It looked like he just got in bed to go to sleep because he was in a typical sabbie sleeping pose. he looked like he passed away peaceful though, so that is some comfort. it just feels so not fair. Sabbie baby loved everyone and everything. Out of my 5 ferrets, he was the nicest to everyone and everything. He loved so much. he was so carefree. even though i've had him for 3 years, it feels like i just got him. when we found him at the pet store, he was all by himself. no toys, no friends... everything was gone. he looked so lonely. i'll never forget the look on his face when we brought him home to his new big brother and big sis... his little face lit up. he was SO happy to have a family again. i know you should love your pets all equally, but secertly, little Saberhagen was my fave. i always called him my Sabbie Baby. he was taken from us way too soon and we are going to miss him so much. i've had a lot of pets in my life so far, but none have hit me this hard. it's such a terrible feeling. Sabbies passing has left a huge hole in my heart. it was so horrible finding him like that, that i can't even put it in to words... i can't stop thinking about poor little sabbie either. it's just not fair to take him away so out of the blue like that. i had no time to prepare for that... i had no time to say good bye.
sad it's just not fair. i feel so guilty for not being there for him when he passed away. i don't know if i could have helped or not, but i would have liked to have been there for him.
sabbie was the 3rd ferret john and i ever got. from oldest to youngest it goes: the Baroness, Ace, Sabbie, Sause, Sunfire. the baroness and ace knew sabbie for the longest because for a long time, it was just the 3 of them. ever since sabbie passed away, the baroness and ace have been depressed. the baroness NEVER sleeps in the bucky because that's where the little brothers would hang out.. but ever since sabbie died, she's been sleeping in the bucky with ace. during playtime, ace and sabbie always played together. where ever big bro went, little bro went. whatever ace did, sabbie did. ace is usually a little troublemaker, getting into places he shouldn't, trying to steal phones or toys or tv remotes... but all during play today, he just went over to the my little pony part of the room (the ferrets love that area) and just laid down. he looked so heartbroken.
crying my poor babies.
around 3 in the morning the day of the wedding, in tears, i called a pet service place that cremated pets. of course they were closed, but i wanted to call and leave a message anyways. around 9 am i heard a reply back. she talked with me for a while, telling me about the different kinds of service packages they do for you. the one i picked included them coming and picking up sabbie and also bringing him back home after they were done, clipping and saving some locks of fur and 3 whiskers (which make me cry every time i look at them
crying ), 3 little plaster casts of his paws, and of course the creamation and the urn. john helped me pick out a pretty urn that was a beautiful pewter with 3 black stripes near the top. unknown to me, they had just changed up that package. so when she arrived with the urn and other items, she gave me a beautiful sterling silver and black paw print urn necklace. Penny (the lady who ran the service) told me that she put a little of sabbies ashes in the urn necklace for me.
i think it's hard for non (or luke warm) animal lovers to understand. johns mom was someone like that. "oh well, you have other ferrets..." or some other comment like "it's just a ferret." . but sabbie wasn't just some ferret. he wasn't just some pet. he can't just be replaced. he was a part of our little family. he will always be loved by us and he will always be missed.
heart here are some pics of my Sabbie Baby from this year.
these last 2 pics are from early october... they were the last pics i got of sabbie. sabbie LOVED his brothers so much. he always copycated the oldest brother, Ace. and he always played with the youngest boy, Sunfire, even though the other ferrets treated Sunfire like he was a noOb.
sabbie on his back playing with sunfire (the reddish brown one) with ace walking by in the corner.
this was a sig pic i made for gaia a few weeks ago. it's a great one of big bro ace and his little sidekick sabbie.
it's taking that long to get another rare. but on the other hand i feel lucky that i've at least had one. 
(tina from friday the 13th part 7) 
