Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

It's been a while since I've had a repetitive dream.

It is a bit odd though. I don't remember having the dream before, but it just feels like I've been in it before. Sometimes it's difficult to remember the events that happen in my head while I'm sleeping and that's usually because once I live through them, I rule them out as unimportant. I'm sure most of us are familiar with the feeling of trying to remember something that happened in the dream world once your awake. That heaviness in your mind spilling onto the tip of your tongue; memories from another world placed just beyond your reach.
If I get to that stage, the dream doesn't matter, so it drops into oblivion and I never give it another thought.

I've dreamed about random s**t and remembered it without a problem when I awoke. There was one time in particular I remember in a dream, I was planting baked potatoes with my mom. A few holes later I stopped and finally seemed to register what I was doing. I turned to my mom and asked "Why are we planting baked potatoes?" She responded with, "So we don't have to cook them later."
And I woke up.

Short, simple, random, and my friends laughed a bit when I told them. Dreaming in and of itself is a riddle I love to think about. That movie Inception that just came out recently was a movie that explored on plenty of concepts that I'm a fan of, although I've never really been a fan of Leonardo DiCaprio, so it was on a very steep, reluctant curve to say that I liked the film.
Anyway, I had a dream last night, and I feel like I've had it before, but I don't understand why it scared me so much. It's been a while since I've had a nightmare.

In the dream, I remember being at some kind of party. I'm not exactly in my house, per se; the front room is there along with my own room and the deck in back, but it's like it expanded into an enormous dining hall. There are faces from my youth group I recognize, and there are others that I can speak to like I know them as a close friend even though I've never seen them. A few boys left a mess at their table and I see myself clean up after them, throwing away paper plates with cake crumbs and smears of frosting . They eventually got a bit guilty and helped me clear their food.

The scene changed and now all the tables are cleared. On there surface are hundreds of fish tanks filled with little fish of all different sizes, shapes, kinds, and colors. We're all catching them with small nets and when we've caught enough, one of the supervisors comes and takes us over to another wall of fish tanks. Each tank had a name label beneath it; our names. I remember following the person over to the tank with my name on it and watch them pour out all the little aquatic creatures from my net into the water. Mine were different from everyone else. All the other tanks were filled with color. The fish were vivid like abstract art, but when my net was emptied, all I saw were black silhouettes. Dark empty shadows of fins and tales swimming in clear water.

That feeling of confusion is so familiar. The scene changes again and I'm walking to the front room and I lean on the windowsill to look at the sky through the glass. It's bright outside; late afternoon, and it looks like summer. I see two clouds in the sky above my house, sort of. One of them is the normal, fluffy ivory, but next to it... It a bit hard to describe, but it looks like someone selected the cloud next to it in photoshop or another art program and just... deleted it.
A small, white cumulus, next to this black mass where a cloud should be, against a bright blue sky. I don't understand why I'm scared.

I remember walking back through the dining hall and out onto the deck. I'm barefoot.
I need shoes.
When I start to put on my converse, I begin to realize that the process is taking far too long.
'I'm tangled in the sheets,' I realize, beginning to register that it's a dream, but I still find myself walking out onto the field to look at the sky.

There isn't a sun. The sky is lit like a summers day but the sun is no where to be seen. There are the two clouds staring me in the face; an impossible, contrasting phenomenon that made an eerie wave of slow terror bubble in the air around me.
I don't understand.

The dream fades away.