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i got to see that tmnt movie and i liked it
and i saw a friend for her true colours as a dirty backstabbing whore
oh well
and its hard to get some friends talk to me latey
they either use pc's that have no messangers and at times forget to replay my messages on gaia or jsut don't read them
i am strating to feel a litttle alone i think

my cuz is in town so yay
we have been hanging out he is like a bro to me
today we had a big family thingie and went to a zoo
and then played in the park and had a good time
at the zoo i got the penny smasher thingie that makes like animal things on it, i got a cool gater and a otter
but anyways next week will be cool, i get my two new games and get to see my cuz more and tmnt comes out
but i may lose my phoneline so i am not sure on how i can get online gonk
just hopefully i get this new job so i can move away before it gets to more hot here

look every one i complated my start of my dream avi, now thers some more items but then cost so much gold that i am jsut waiting
any ways in real life 2 days ago i was walking around town in my aisan straw hat, and for the most it didn't suprized people but a few gave me strange looks, and one guy said" cool hat" but i am not sure if he just messing with me or not
i also traded in 3 games and a movie to get a copy of a game that just dispired outof my system
for the most part they were games i was bored of or beat a lot
i am still a little sick but doing btter
i miss a few friends that don't talk that much*sighs* it would be nice if they wuoldn't leave there messager on all day and not be on
but its ok
i need to start looking for a job even at fast food so i can save up money and move
kinda depressed no one want to play animal crosing wifi with me*is unloved and alone*
i guess thats it for my journal this time

i am still sick and i haven't heard from some friends in a few days
i found some aisan straw hat in my apt today so i was wareing it allday
but i didn't get to be outside with it on, maybe tommorw
love you all and a few even more so

all my life i have never left love much not even from family
but then i finaly meet some one i truly feel that i am sure i love but no matter what i do, or how long i seem to wait nothing good ever happens
i am really not sure what to do or feel any more
a part of me feels like giveing up and hiding or being alone forever
idk any more it seems to get harder and harder
maybe i should sell everything i own so i can move there and live on the streets but at lest be close
hell my family wont help me move, they like me allways doing eerything for them as they go off and have fun

this weekend reallly hasn't been that good of a weekend but at lest

i am alive i guess

yestday was a strange day, my mom was very sick so i was takeing care of her
so allday i was doing things for her even gave her a bell to ring when she needed something
but then i get on gaia and goto gaia cards and
i get in a room, a little while later i am getting yealed at and cussed at for not caping the first word or puting in .
so i lefted a few hours later i go back and we are starting to get long
but then every tyime i say something i get yealed at and hurt,
all i wanted was to feel like i had a place to belong but it didn't really happen
so i left that room angry and hurt went to a friends room,
and she invates me to go to her gaia house with friends to chat

and i go thinking what the hell i never nothing else to lose

it takes me around 20 mins to get in the room

and i get in that was a very weiord chat thing
i wont get into it yet
but i just though that i'ld tell a update for a friend or two if they cared

a friend asked me to ,make a new jornal thingie and for friends that i care for anything
but umm not sure what to put in
i allways bad at this stuff
umm i guess not much new to say besides my town sucks, and every one i care for isn't in town anymore
and i can't wait to move anywhere
now i don't think anyone will read this but oh well

wow i'am alive after my trip to hell
there groups over the usa that are members of sca
they dress up as midevil people, from any where in the world in that time
and they fight
every year theres 3 huge wars that they all get to gether and fight to see whos the best
i went to one
it was in a montian park, but yet there no dang mountains that we were at
it was like 85 temp in day and like 35 at night
dust was every where, in the seccent day we had wind gusts at like 60 mph or more
a few people lost tents
there only like 6 people in are camp and no one ever hanged out with me, i was left alone at the camp watching it
my last two nights were hell
i couldn't light the fire, so i was alone in the dark
then my only friend was a bug that came into the camp and i accdintly killed i felt so bad i wanted to cry
i forgot my tent, so i had to sleep in the van we bowored
it was so small i keeped kicking the windows
i even was brought into my depressen and sudical ugers i oh most did seppuku
with my two new cool katana's
but one if getting broken all ready
i messed some friends like jasmine
if it wasn't for my ds i'ld lost my mind
and i did lose my ds stick thingie
oh well i'am back and alive so thats good
i guess i'll find out who reads this

hey every one i'm not even sure why i do thses the only one that reads them or cares is amber
and we are geetting married on gaia in a few months
its all good maybe one day more people will care
umm not much else to say, i still nreeed a job but its not fun or easy