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I thought I knew how...

After two years of living in what I figured had to be hell, I suddenly became infatuated with death and the undead.

My brother was the initial one who inspired me to peruse this morbid subject. Besides all the crap that we both had to endure, along with being stuck with an alcoholic role model for a grandparent, I never had thought I'd find my brother attempting to stick one of my grandfather's medical needles into his neck.

I stopped him from taking his life that night and disposed of all the possible toxins into the basement, which I locked and hid the key. I felt so weak.

How was it that my only brother was capable to give his life so willingly while I was afraid to even cut myself?

Since my grandfather went to work in the mornings and was home, and also intoxicated by the time we got home in the afternoons, I usually walked to school.
My brother rode the bus because I didn't want anything to happen to him. I walked because the bus driver wouldn't let me on.

Gossip can ruin an already damaged reputation. I really didn't care.

I was a junior at high school and passed, for the most part anyway, my classes with a C average. It wasn't that I couldn't do the work so much as I just didn't see the point in it. School was the worst punishment I could have been given.

I honestly didn't mind the venomous glares and the crude words. It was actually sort of funny the way most of the others went out of their way to avoid even making eye contact. I was the walking plague. Because I wore black, the Goths didn't mind me so much. In fact, they were probably the only ones who respected and understood what I was going through...but only a few of them took the time to even say anything but "hey" or "What’s up?" to me. At least it was something.

One night, after coming home from the usual torment and crap of school, I suddenly didn't feel like going inside. I went out to the backyard and looked up into the sky. Dark, ominous clouds echoed thunder in the distance. A cool breeze pulled strands of my braided hair out of the loosely wrapped rubber band.
The only light came from the bright, full moon that stood out like a flame against the black of the approaching storm.

This was strangely soothing to me. The site of the moon made me feel oddly alive, more than I had felt in the years after my parent’s deaths.

That's when I heard the sharp growl sound from the other side of the broken wooden fence near the bushes. I suddenly wanted to get in side; a disturbing feeling came over me. Out of nowhere, two huge yellow eyes shown through the branches of the bushes. Alarmed, I stood still. I figured that it was huge dog...but I didn't want to take the chance of becoming a quick meal by being stupid and running for the door. Besides, I welcomed death.

The creature that emerged in front of me was no dog. It stood on its hind legs and walked like a human, but its entire body was covered with fur. Its head was wolf-like with huge fangs that shined with saliva and a black nose. The only human quality I could tell where in the eyes. We learned about animals in biology, and I knew the shapes of a wolves eyes. These were too green, and didn't follow the largeness of the creatures face. They were bigger, but defiantly human.

I knew it was a werewolf. It’s something you learn about when you're little, like Dracula and Frankenstein, the classic monsters that you see on the late night horror shows your parents say will give you nightmares.
When I was little I use to worry about those monsters attacking me when I wasn't expecting it, so I learned about all the ways to repel them.
I wore crosses all the time and I kept a lighter in my bag. I even had a butter knife for emergencies, but none of those things were made of silver.

So basically spending all that time studying hadn’t helped me at all.

The werewolf straggled towards me, his eyes never leaving my own. My heart pounded loudly against my chest and thrummed endlessly in my ears. The creature seemed to hear it too because it stopped abruptly. It growled again and suddenly I found its large paw closing tightly around my neck. My hands instinctively fought against it, but I forced them to let go.

I was afraid, but not enough to forget that I wanted to die.

It noticed I wasn't fighting. I wanted it to hurry up and kill me already, but it seemed confused now. It shook me; just enough to where it felt like my vocal cords were being crushed. When I kept myself from fighting, it shook harder. Not enough to kill me, but enough to leave some unwanted bruises.

"Why?" It growled hoarsely.

I didn't answer. I honestly didn't believe I had heard anything but delusional thoughts.

"Answer me human!" It growled louder. "Why don't you fight."

I couldn't breath, but I managed a gasped reply. "I..."

"What!" It said forcefully. This time it had sounded human and it loosened the death hold.

"I don't want to live." I replied roughly, I wanted him to strangle me again.

The creature looked at me with its green eyes. It made a throaty laugh and suddenly dropped me to the ground.

"I've never met a human with the desire to die before." It said partially to itself.
"What's your name girl?"

I looked at it, but I refused to answer.

It laughed again and gave me a toothy grin. "You amuse me human." It suddenly dropped onto its front legs and growled. It bared its teeth and hunched its light gray fur.

I looked above me. A large bat circled around the yard, then took off. Its screeching echoed as a bolt of lightning lit the sky. The wind began to blow faster and I felt the tiny drops of rain touch the bare parts of my skin, sending shivers up and down my body.
The werewolf searched the skies, and then turned its attention back to me.

"I will leave you for now human, but I will be back."
Then, just as quickly as it had come, it dashed off into the bushes and vanished.

Overwhelmed, I quickly went back inside and shut the back door. I locked it, checked to make sure it was locked, and then went off to my room. I shut the door and threw myself onto the bed. Closing my eyes, I lost myself in the darkness and fell asleep, completely unaware of the red eyes that stood watching me from outside my window in the storm.