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I know no one has ever even read this or happens to give a damn...but to all the imaginary people, I have returned to this site after much time away.

Last night I realized something...apparently I have atleast some mild form of obsessive compulsive disorder. Though this comes as a bit of a shock to me, it is something my friends appear to have noticed in the past. I think the best way to describe it is this: "You check the door like 20 times before leaving, you have to realize that that is not normal."

And what I find so funny about this is not teh crudity of Shortlived Flame, but the fact that Draco DeVis seems to almost exclusively stick to the comment XD.



Shortlived Flame: "Vote Jennifer for Senior Class President! You all know she isn't above giving head to get ahead!"
Draco DeVis: XD
Shortlived Flame: And Operation SnackMastaPimp is a go!
Draco DeVis: XD
Shortlived Flame: Mmmm...white castle cheeseburgers and energy drik...
Draco DeVis: XD
Shortlived Flame: It's sexy...I mean funny...because it's true.
Draco DeVis: XD
Shortlived Flame: "Now go right down the middle...between the thighs...NO! Left! Right! DOWN THE MIDDLE I SAID!"
*explosion*
'Game Over'
Shortlived Flame: And the moral is, becareful when trying to ******** a gamer.
Draco DeVis: XD
Shortlived Flame: "I am taking out my c**k..."
"For the last time, you don't have to narrate! This isn't cybersex."
*bluescreen of death*
And the moral is, be careful when trying to ******** a computer nerd.
Draco DeVis: XD
Shortlived Flame: <<SFX>>: Zap! Sizzle!
*flying sparks*
'Disc Read Error'
And the moral is, be careful when trying to ******** your Xbox.
Draco DeVis: XD XXXBox
Shortlived Flame: No! That is one of the names reserved for my sister's roommate's Xbox (it is also the slutbox)
Draco DeVis: Nah the XXXBox is a future console. And its always a good idea to have your own controller handy. They tend to get sticky.
Shortlived Flame: Haha. Yeah, SlutBox is a better name for Jay's Xbox. One thing he did with the extrahardrive he added to it, replaced all the backgrounds with softcore porn.
Draco DeVis: XD
Shortlived Flame: I love gaming at my sister's place because of that.
Draco DeVis: XD

Draco DeVis: In a web comic a guy turned his xbox into a robot named Ezekial.
Shortlived Flame: HAHA!
Draco DeVis: It's currently on a path of destruction in his apartment.
Draco DeVis: Malfunctioned from a water baloon.
Shortlived Flame: Go Ezekial!

"Oh yeah baby...play with my joystick you bad gamergirl."
"Ok..."
*begins smashing testicles and jerking shaft about randomly*
<<SFX>>: Blood curdling scream.
And the moral is, be careful when trying to ******** a button masher gamer.
Draco DeVis: XD
Shortlived Flame: "Just slip it in...we'll make a man out of this nerd yet..."
"I make a sleight of hand check to attempt to maneuver my c**k."
*rolls a d20; checks character sheet*
"Oh...natural 1...critical failure..."
*cockslaps*
And the moral is (the last one of the night), be careful when trying to ******** a D&D gamer.
Draco DeVis: XD
Shortlived Flame: "To wank, or not to wank, --that is the question:--
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of an overactive libido
Or to take palms against a pair of fleshy bubbles,
And by stroking them end it."
Draco DeVis: XD Nice!
Shortlived Flame: Apparently I switched the crazy switch off, and switched crude immature comedy on.
Draco DeVis: XD

I shall apologize now to my imaginary audience...for today I have been thinking.

"Y'know...the human race is pretty ******** up as a whole as I see it. Which is why I am not a racist...I hate the entire species regardless of race. And that just goes to prove my main point: humans are creatures of hate and anger. So many people out there hate others for things that happened a century ago, or stay pissed off for a month over the events of one day. And then the same people can't remember something nice someone did for them not ten minutes ago. What the ********?"


And now something else equally not cheerful.

"And the flames of their lives are so short-lived...all too soon do they flicker out. And yet, sometimes, from the ashes a new short-lived flame arises."

TheAnonymous167: Any suggestions for causing trouble in my building?
Draco DeVis: Without harming anyone
Draco DeVis: ?
TheAnonymous167: Of course, just want to get security called..there has been trouble in the other towers this weekend, and I don't want mine to be left out.
Draco DeVis: You could go into a bathroom with a fog machine (the kind that fills the room) and bright red light then turn on both on and every time someone turns on the enters, shout "GO AWAY!"
Draco DeVis: wow
Draco DeVis: how did I screw that up
Draco DeVis: ~turn both on ~someone enters
TheAnonymous167: I would need a stereo also, make it seem like a nightclub.
Draco DeVis: XD yeah
TheAnonymous167: I could call a theater friend...see if they have a fog machine and a red light...and comp could play music.
Draco DeVis: It could work
TheAnonymous167: I can talk to the theater people at 7:30...mwahahahaha.
Draco DeVis: XD
TheAnonymous167: I know what I am doing tonight!
Draco DeVis: ^^ tell me how it goes
TheAnonymous167: Actually, should get a blacklight...most of the bathroom is white
Draco DeVis: That would be cool. If you really wanted to take it pretty far you could have people making sex noises.
TheAnonymous167: ALl I have to do is play the song Cold.
TheAnonymous167: It has people making sex noises in it.
Draco DeVis: XD perfect
TheAnonymous167: http://www.vnvnation.com/contents/download/cold_(rated_r_mix_by_mig-29).mp3
TheAnonymous167: That is the song.
Draco DeVis: Not as good as people actually makeing the noises but it would work
TheAnonymous167: I know.


TheAnonymous167: "Y'know...they say not to judge a book by its cover. I say the same thing about DVDs. I learned last night that sometimes you should judge a DVD by its cover. My first thoughts about the cover were 'This is not something to be watching with my friend's girlfriend while he is asleep.' And I was right."
AnaxiamanderGaia: Dare I even ask?
TheAnonymous167: The title of the movie was Kama Sutra.
AnaxiamanderGaia: ...figures.
TheAnonymous167: It is in fact a drama about an India servant girl...but there is a reason for the title. But Liz told me it wasn't what I thought...it was though.
AnaxiamanderGaia: *shake head* Sometimes I wonder about you. But it's funny, no matter what I wonder, so I let it slide.
TheAnonymous167: Hey, it wasn't my fault. I let the dice pick the movie...they chose that. And it wasn't a problem until I realized that Tom was asleep and neither I nor Liz was. It just made it infinitely awkward.
AnaxiamanderGaia: You left choice of movie to dice.
TheAnonymous167: d%.
AnaxiamanderGaia: Oh, well that's fine. I was just hoping you didn't use anything like a d8 or d12. 'Cause that'd be weird.
TheAnonymous167: 1-50, Kama Sutra. 51-100, Cabaret.
AnaxiamanderGaia: ...couldn't you have just flipped a coin? Or would that not have been geeky enough?
TheAnonymous167: Didn't have a coin, but Tom, whose room we were in, had his dice next to his bed.
AnaxiamanderGaia: Ah. Logical.
AnaxiamanderGaia: Wait...no coin? Then what do you keep in your wallet?
TheAnonymous167: What wallet?
AnaxiamanderGaia: ...oh.
TheAnonymous167: My wallet tends to be chained to my pants, then I lose it if I change pants. Thus I don't use a wallet.
AnaxiamanderGaia: Ah. Seems logical enough.
TheAnonymous167: Instead I have a small boy who I mail ordered from Thailand carry my money in his mouth and follow me around.
AnaxiamanderGaia: Awesome. Did he come as part of a package deal? Because otherwise, I kind of wonder if the shipping was worth it.
TheAnonymous167: He came with a motorcycle I was ordering.
AnaxiamanderGaia: Well that works. What, did they run out of the models they keep putting in the pictures?
TheAnonymous167: Oh, she was there too. The kid was her son.
AnaxiamanderGaia: Ah. So it was a package deal in the best sense. I'd say you got a steal there.
TheAnonymous167: Yup. Though shipping was more than the stuff I was ordering. All together, the motrcycle, the chick, and her kid were $400.
AnaxiamanderGaia: Hrm...you could make that back with one kidney.
TheAnonymous167: I like my kidneys.
AnaxiamanderGaia: I didn't say yours. Four came with the order, didn't they?
TheAnonymous167: I know, but I like the two of them is full working order also.
AnaxiamanderGaia: Mmm...you've got a point. Just wait until one of them gets sick.
TheAnonymous167: Or find someone I don't like who has kidneys.
AnaxiamanderGaia: Hrm...see, you're better at this evil thing than I am.
TheAnonymous167: I know, centuries of experience, what with being Satan and all.
AnaxiamanderGaia: Good point. I mean, fallen angels need to learn everything over again. It's a heck of a lot of work, you know.
TheAnonymous167: Exactly.
TheAnonymous167: Any suggestions for trouble I could cause in my dorm that wouldn't actually hurt anyone.
AnaxiamanderGaia: ...saran wrap?
AnaxiamanderGaia: doors, beds, clothing, everything. It's evil.
TheAnonymous167: Nice. I was thinking the classing vaseline on the doorknobs, or the secretly feed shrooms to the RA on duty.
TheAnonymous167: *classic
AnaxiamanderGaia: Also, indigestible red food colouring in someone's drink makes for an interesting experience in eight to twelve hours.
TheAnonymous167: HAHA!
AnaxiamanderGaia: Doesn't always work though. Depends on the dye.

Or, to really mess them up, blue.
TheAnonymous167: Haha.
AnaxiamanderGaia: Eh...I've used red Kool-Aid in the shower cap a few times. Freaks the heck out of squeamish people.
AnaxiamanderGaia: By shower cap, I mean the nozzle thing.
AnaxiamanderGaia: Though a little corn starch helps...but make a harder mess to clean up.
TheAnonymous167: Nice, though not the brand I am looking for tonight, I want security to be called.
AnaxiamanderGaia: ...
AnaxiamanderGaia: Painting messages on something in fake blood?
TheAnonymous167: Eh, might stain the walls weird.
AnaxiamanderGaia: Leaving a note on someone's door with a butterknife? It could be completely inane and have no meaning, but the knife, however dull, would leave some degree of a threat, wouldn't it? Besides, a butterknife'd be funny.
AnaxiamanderGaia: Or a cake-cutter.
AnaxiamanderGaia: Though that'd put a hole in a door, unless you used silly putty.
TheAnonymous167: Will probably go with the idea a friend had. Convert bathroom into fake nightclub.
AnaxiamanderGaia: OH! Wrap someone in a blanket, duct tape them, and heave them outside, locking the door. They'll need security or another member to let them back in. Best to do it while they're asleep, so they're not too well dressed.
AnaxiamanderGaia: ...that one's hot.
AnaxiamanderGaia: The Nightclub thing, I mean.
TheAnonymous167: All I need to go is talk to someone in the theater department to see if I can get a fog machine.
TheAnonymous167: And as far as chicking someone out, people lock their door.s
AnaxiamanderGaia: Or in the chemistry department for some dry ice.

That's why you get a roomate in on the act.
TheAnonymous167: I know theater people though.

Eh, an RA could let em back in.
AnaxiamanderGaia: Ah...well, you could always do it to an RA? *shrug* Just a thought.
TheAnonymous167: No, they'd know it was me, and kill me.
AnaxiamanderGaia: Ah. Point.
TheAnonymous167: Thus the nightclub could work because no harm done.
AnaxiamanderGaia: You know, taping someone to the ceiling is always fun. And usually involves a ladder to get them down.

And the nightclub thing still sounds like the best course of action/
AnaxiamanderGaia: Just don't forget the good lighting.
TheAnonymous167: I am thinking blacklight, most of the bathroom is white.

Side note, would you object to me posting portions of this conversation on my gaia jounal, strange conversations is what I post.
AnaxiamanderGaia: Honestly, I wouldn't really care. Heck, if you want to even mention my Gaia username, might catch me a touch of notice.
AnaxiamanderGaia: Oh...one thing I forgot. No, wait...that'd piss too many people off. Was going to suggest flipping the circuit breaker.
TheAnonymous167: Eh, was considering that also, as well as setting off the fire alarm...campus security has to shut it off.





Alright, I feel I should say why I wanna cause trouble. Of the four freshmen towers at my school, at least two have had security called this weekend. I don't want mine to be left out.

TheAnonymous167: "In our garb of black we must pay respect to the color we're born to mourn."
Draco DeVis: oro?
TheAnonymous167: Sorry, flogging molly, liked that line.
Draco DeVis: i see
TheAnonymous167: This line exmplifies my view of life:
"I'm impolite and I make fun of everyone
I'm immature but I will stay this way forever"
Draco DeVis: ^^
TheAnonymous167: From a simple plan song called grow up.
Draco DeVis: I see
TheAnonymous167: "Her breath pure as whiskey, my heart fell in love."
Draco DeVis: ew
TheAnonymous167: Dude, it's from an irish song, alcohol had to be mentioned.
Draco DeVis: stiil gross
TheAnonymous167: I know, just saying it makes sense in its context.
Draco DeVis: yeah

And today's concept of the day is that the interweb is good! Because of a screw up on my computer (IE it ********), it appeared I had lost the beginning of a story I was writing. That happened months ago. I have however been unable to restart the story, as the beginning of it that I had had was perfect for how I wanted to portray the character. And then I remembered I had used that same character, and a variant on the beginning of the story as the introduction for a little RP I was temporarily part of on another site. And because the internet is what it is, and the site in question didn't clean out the old threads, I was able to re-acquire the beginning of a favorite story I once thought up. God bless the interweb!

On a slightly eviler note...I think the corruption of one of my friends is going well. I had him considering using illegal narcotics...on a school night....when he had to be up early in the morning. However, as I am the bad side of his conscience, he also has a good side...and that goody-goody b*****d was there. Goody was then able to convince him not to do drugs that night...but there is always tomorrow night. Wish me luck...for Satan truly needs it.

TheAnonymous167: "She's hot...ya know...if you like the psycho-spider b***h with blue skin type..."
Draco DeVis: oh... meh
TheAnonymous167: What someone said about Lolth, spider queen (D&D)
Draco DeVis: Ah
Draco DeVis: "Pants you I can, yes, mmm"
TheAnonymous167: "Shut up, yoda."
Draco DeVis: "I find your lack of pants disturbing
Draco DeVis: "
TheAnonymous167: ...
Draco DeVis: vader
TheAnonymous167: Ahhh.
Spiderbitch.
Draco DeVis: that woul hurt to grope
TheAnonymous167: Probably.
TheAnonymous167: An you know she would turn into a spider just before you jismed.
Draco DeVis: >.<



"Remember...drugs are bad...except shrooms...they are GOOD."

TheAnonymous167: "Now balance the d4 on your nose, if you can keep it there for 5 minutes, you beat Kord in one hit."
*5 minutes later*
"********! You beat Kord in one hit."
Draco DeVis: XD
TheAnonymous167: "The answer is 1 cubic inch."
"What is the combine volume of both my girlfriend's breasts?"
Draco DeVis: ^^
TheAnonymous167: Exactly.
TheAnonymous167: "I'm Andrew...and I have a problem. At first, I lied to myself...I said I was okay...but soon I was sleeping with strangers just to get them to DM. I was screaming 'CRITICAL' everytime I saw a 20. My name is Andrew Blake, and I have a Dungeons and Dragons addiction."
Draco DeVis: XD
TheAnonymous167: I think I need to check for the old wanking enthusiasts banner next time I am back in cali (i might still have a copy on my comp)
Draco DeVis: ^^
TheAnonymous167: You remember it?
Draco DeVis: yeah
TheAnonymous167: "Everytime you masturbate, god kills a kitten. To hell with the kittens!"
Draco DeVis: XD
TheAnonymous167: "Whenever a woman masturbates, God gives the world a puppy. Please, think of the puppies."
Draco DeVis: ^_^
TheAnonymous167: "But Officer...she said she was 8...I mean 11...I mean15...I mean 17...I mean 22."
Draco DeVis: XD
TheAnonymous167: "Did you know they crossed broccoli and cauliflower? What do you think they called it?"
"Cockoli?"
Draco DeVis: ^^
TheAnonymous167: And that was actually a real conversation I had today.
TheAnonymous167: Finsihed with homework....muist go....there be drunk sluts ta seduce.
Draco DeVis: ^^ k
TheAnonymous167: well, after I post this conversation on my gaia journal...some quotes to good to be forgotten
Draco DeVis: ^^