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Welcome to my life
You see it is not easy
But I'm doing all right
Welcome to my dream
It's the only one who needs me
And stays right by my side

Welcome to my wonderland
It'll take time to find out where we stand
In all this mess
There was the first day for me too
And I had no guide and I was lost like you
I still am

But it makes me feel alive (...) Sunrise Avenue - Welcome To My Life

Right... so here i am again... even though i'm 19 years old, and got myself up more or less to the expectations of my parents and so called friends, i still feel alone, empty and fake.. and the thing is i don't even struggle to make friends, because if it's a boy all he wants is to get in "the black hole", if it's a girl than meet all the cute, handsome guys i know, or just my friends to take them away from me (thank God there are exceptions but i have met only one or two face to face)... almost one year ago i was crying when i thought about it... now all i can do is laugh... why? because almost everyone see only the persons look but not what's inside... or they judge everyone by how the speak, act, or whatever but they never try to understand them, or they don't realize that a persons present and future is influenced by the past... and i bet not everyone had a life in pink... but i also bet that there are some persons of those who had a tough life who "hide" like me...
so back to the main idea... people think they know you but when you do something crazy, or just a generous thing or whatever they look at you like wooooow... happened to me when i first let my imagination go wild and told everyone about my idea, when i first beaten up a guy (the guy was very surprised cos i haven't touched him, or raised my voice in 6 years and did it then ), or when i cut my hair short (everyone was like: i would've expected from you an emo hair, a suuuuuuuper crazy hair cos that's you but never a short hair like this)...

so that's mainly what i think about people in general, even about myself...

if you feel like arguing with me, or you agree with me you can leave comments, i don't mind smile