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This is being written in my Durem tower, because Sally and Cindy have had yet another row and I've decided to let them sort things out between themselves for once.
Sally's fourteenth birthday should have been good, had it not been that she picked a fight with Cindy about wanting a job at the GAIA 9 station. Cindy found herself torn between me and Sally, and...well, we ended up spending the evening arguing, instead of enjoying Sally's carrot cake. In the end I lost it completely, declared that I was quitting my job at the station, and walked out.
It wasn't like I did anything really foolish. I mean, I had two hands worth of rings, and I'm pretty good at handling those Animated. I just didn't have any clear idea where I was going, but in the end I ended up slipping into Barton as the guard changed shifts. The trains are not running on any sort of normal schedule since the electronics in the modern passenger trains started going haywire thanks to the Animated (I knew those new trains weren't a good idea in a place like Gaia!), but there's still the mail run. Ok, perhaps it could be called bribery, but one can get on that train if one pays the guard a little...and look, there is a passenger car included in that train! So, though I had to wait a few hours, but I ended up on the night mail train to Durem.
I don't know what I had in mind going there, but I found myself wandering around my old stomping grounds at one in the morning. Durem's much less crowded now that the Animated are disrupting transportation and communication. It's actually rather...spooky, but spooky in a way Durem never felt when its citizens had to worry about sharing their town with the Sniper and goodness knows what else. It's just...empty town spooky. And so, for some strange reason, I ended up in my erstwhile enemy's shop.
"Nice to see you around!" Louie said as I entered H.R. Wesley. "I'm doing night shift, for obvious reasons, and it sure is boring." A tinge of lilac blush stained his waxen cheek, and he fingered his ornate cuffs. "I'm sorry about Sally..."
"Sally is a spoilt child who considers herself a grown woman," I said curtly. "She has chosen to ruin her own birthday by picking a fight, so I am not going to deal with her drama at the moment."
"I should send her something, I guess," he said quietly. "She's a nice kid, just a bit obsessed with my kind. You want some coffee?"
Even though I normally eschew coffee, I accepted so as to have an excuse to sit and talk to somebody. All we did was gossip about the local news of Barton and Durem, but it felt very comforting to chat about Rina's growth spurt and Natasha's new tattoos. Eventually Devin showed up, wanting to ask Louie something about the reactions between tattoo inks and vampire skin, and then he started talking about crystals and chakras, and...I was getting tired, so I made my excuses and headed for my ramshackle home.
The next day Sally called Louie and begged him to tell me that Cindy had sent her to Science Camp (she's lucky it wasn't Juvie!) two days late and that she didn't feel safe there without me. So I got my hair chopped short, dyed black, and done in spiky cornrows, then went and slipped in among those kids in that noisy, smelly Rocket Bunker. I thought it was rather awful, with all those wannabe mad scientists, and I ended up becoming the tea girl for the whole bunker. I loathed the constant fights, and was glad when that mess was over. And I really should change this hairstyle...
Then, guess what? Yesterday, Sally got in another row with Cindy, this time threatening to "go and find my REAL family!" Cindy started crying, I burst into rather hysterical laughter at the absurdity, and Lady Luck threw a disdainful look at us before leaping out the open window. I looked thoughtfully after her for a moment, then walked out the door, joining her at the road. Sally and Cindy were still arguing as I picked up my beloved and oft-neglected feline, deciding that I would not return to this house until this tangled web was unravelled or cut. After all, I could support myself well enough on my gambling income. Another trip with the night mail was in order.
However, I had an appalling dream while on the train. It started with Sally beating on the door of my tower, sobbing. Next flashed Edmund's pale, drawn face over a black collar..."You could at least have pretended to like him," he said...Louie, as I felt dread encasing me in an icy sheath, remarking, "It was over a year ago, I don't think it likely he remembered what you last said to him." Cindy, her news-reporter mask letting only a professionally sorrowful expression slip through, making a report from the streets of black-draped Durem...Gino, in sombre black mourning suit, shooting me a glare of exquisite hate.
I woke to a sharp pain in my hand. I had apparently been thrashing in my seat and had swung in the direction of Lady Luck's perch on the next seat. I was actually grateful for the pain of the bite which summoned me out of the foul dream and back to blessed wakefulness. However, I left the train station shivering despite the sultry night heat, and ran straight to my tower to turn on the radio I'd left there. If there was bad news, I'd rather not get it in the presence of any of my night-owl shopkeeper acquaintances.
Of course, there was no bad news, but I had to scan all the news stations and most of the music ones to convince myself of that fact. In the end, I've had to come to terms with the fact that I have a very guilty conscience when it comes to my one surviving parent. Just because Gambino's a madman doesn't mean I had to tell him so to his face...and a quick check of this diary makes it clear those were the last words I spoke in his presence, before basically ransacking his kitchen. I'll admit, he's treated me in exceedingly objectionable ways, but he treats just about everyone that way. I suppose I should at make myself meet with him at least once more, and behave like a dutiful if distant daughter this time...I should think he's dismissed that fake engagement fiasco by now. I just don't know how I'm going to force myself into a meeting with him...well, it's not like the events of that horrid nightmare are really likely to happen any time soon. I'll just have to see how things flow...
For now, I could really use some guilt-free sleep.