February 29, 2008
I got a message from the Orphanage today, after helping them during the holidays to get their orphans happy and looking well enough to be transfered to a REAL orphanage they had need of me again.
The orphans that I helped send there were unhappy. Terribly so. As it was, the orphans who were sent there were not 'normal' or 'cute' enough to be adopted. Infact ever since they'd been sent there, they'd been pretty much shunned by the 'cuter' orphans. And even the adults looking to adopt children looked over them as if they didn't exsist.
I was asked if I wanted to help by adopting one of the children. My answer was simple. Of course I did. I had put so much time and effort into making them happy, only to have them taken away from me at the end. I'd been devastated, and I missed them terribly. To be told that I could finally keep one, finally be allowed to raise and love a child of my very own? It was too good to explain in words.
I hurried to the Orphanage as soon as I got the ok. The place where I'd help send them to......was amazing. It was huge. So many rooms and a huge dining hall, the halls were sparkling clean and there was a grand staircase in the main hall, between that was a large statue of what appeared to be some sort of animal, a dog or something, I don't know....
The woman who showed me around was very enthusiastic about the Orphange, the amount of times it was cleaned, the scheduling of the children's daily activities, when the place had been renovated, etc.,etc.....
The more I got to see of the building, the more I began to realize.....
My orphans did not fit in here.
And sadly I could understand why they'd been overlooked for so long.
She led me to the office, where a very stern old woman greeted me. Her expression was pinched, graying hair done up in a tight bun, her clothing, a simple gray business pants suit, was cleaned and pressed. Everything about her screamed 'strict and stern'. I feared what my orphans might have gone through being watched over by such a woman. Just being near her made me feel dirty, unwanted, worthless.
She was quick to dismiss her eager guide, in which I was eternally greatful. That woman gave me a migrane with her chirpy high pitched voice.
She introduced herself as simply 'Karen' and told me she wanted me to feel comfortable enough to call her as such. She then gave me what I assumed was supposed to be a 'friendly smile'. It scared the bejesus out of me, but I gave her a smile in return. It wouldn't do to be impolite. She offered me a seat infront of her desk, I sat into the uncomfortable seats as she moved to her own comfortable looking seat behind her desk. She began to tell me the history of the orphanage, which I had already heard from her cheerful guide, but I sat and listened as if I'd never heard the story before.
When she was done, she neatly placed a folder on the desk and slid it over to me. When she made no move to explain it, I reached out and picked it up, upon opening it I was greeted with the picture of two very unhappy looking children. Two children I had never seen before. As far as I knew they were not the orphans I took care of.
I looked to her in question. "Who are they?" I asked, watching as her expression grew more pinched. "Eustace and Ethel, two.......children, you can have." Have? She made it sound as though she was giving away some animals, instead of trying to find loving homes for two kids. I calmed myself down enough to ask her about it. "These two are unadoptable. No one wants two children, especially one with so many...ailments."
I was enraged. How dare she. How dare she speak of these children as if they were the lowest things on earth. They were kids. Kids. Not a pack of dirty mongrels. I wanted to curse her out, I wanted to beat her up, I wanted to do so many violent, illegal and potentially deadly things that I feared what I'd do if I spoke to her at this moment. Instead I focused on the file she had handed me, wanting to learn all I could from this pile of papers, so I wouldn't have to ask her a thing.
Name: Eustace
Age: 14
Height: 6'1''
Weight: 120
Additional Information: Child is in perfect physical condition. No mental trama. Child refuses to leave without sibling. Child has become distant and quiet. Potential for violence has been shown in child. Child can not be seperated from sibling in fear of another violent outburst.
Illness: None
Mental Illness: None
Name: Ethel
Age: 4
Height: 2'6''
Weight: 95
Additional Information: Child is in poor state of health. Child has weak lungs, weak heart, and food allergies. Mental Trama is evident in child. Child has a fear of darkness, small spaces, heights, loud noises, water, all forms of motor transportation, people, raccoons, any animal/object resembling a racoon. Child will fall into a state of mental and physical shutdown if seperated from sibling. Child can not be seperated from sibling in fear of mental shut down.
Illness: Food Allergies: Sugar, Dairy products, certain food dyes.
Mental Illness: Phobias: Achluophobia, Acousticophobia, Acrophobia, Aeroacrophobia, Agoraphobia, Agrizoophobia, Amaxophobia, Anthropophobia, Cleisiophobia, Coulrophobia, Haphephobia, Ligyrophobia, Nyctophobia (Not all phobia's are listed until extensive tests are done)
I couldn't believe what I was seeing. So many fears in such a small body. I could understand Coulrophobia, I was terrified of clowns too. But to think they were doing tests on this poor child? Horrible. The files had also listed the comments from people who at one point wanted to adopt them. Most of them were for the older brother, whom had alot of waiting adoptions. But he would only go if his sister was adopted as well, and no one wanted to take care of a child with so many problems.
She was speaking again, and it took me awhile to figure out that she had been speaking to me for a long time. I only caught the end of what she was saying, which was fine because it was the only part I needed to hear.
"Are you willing to take these children Mrs. Itsuki?"
"Yes."
Rini-sama Community Member 
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