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This is not beauty- A poem... |
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And we will start at the top now,
With waves of brown silk,
Tumbling, trickling down.
Shinning and glistening,
Each stran perfectly healthy.
No, it just isn't good enough!
Give me a straightener,
hair spray, Peroxide at once!
This is not beauty!
Oh, this is not beauty!
Then focus on smaller features,
Large gleeming brown eyes,
A gateway to the soul.
Lips soft and welcoming,
made to craddle a warm kiss.
They aren't accented enough!
Paste black rings around these eyes!
Now smother my lips in gloss!
This is not beauty!
Oh, this is not beauty!
Fine, we will look at the wide view.
Round womenly curves,
and skin of smooth ivory.
Elegant with every strut,
Giving out a devine air.
These are not curves! I am fat!
My skin is so pale and white!
No more food! Use tanning beds!
This is not beauty.
Oh, this is not beauty.
My dear, you must look inside now.
Your own soul is cold.
Obsessed fixation
on other's view of beaty,
killing your inner child.
There's no way I can change that...
I'm trying to be pretty.
Won't people respect me more?
This is not beauty...
Oh... This is not beauty...
 Shomoko · Fri Aug 18, 2006 @ 04:19pm · 1 Comments |
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writing to see who still reads. Blech, I'm bored.
Shomoko · Thu Dec 29, 2005 @ 10:54pm · 2 Comments |
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--Goth--
Do you wear black eyeliner?: Sometimes. Usually only on special occasions and when I get REALLY bored. Like, I need to be REAAAALLY bored. I don't really like make up.
How much black clothing do you own? Less then I'd like. My mother says I look very good in black but I own cats. I don't even need to touch them and I have cat hair all over me.
Do you think about death often? No, not really. I mean, I think about it. But when I think about it, it's like what the after life would be like and would I be happy dying right now. Not like, "I want to kill myself"
Do you want to die?: When I've seen/done all that I've always wanted to do.
Are you a social outcast? At times but I've gotten better. ^_^
Are you pale?: No, I'm italian. whee
Do you like Hot Topic?: Some stuff but everything they have is so expensive.
--Skater Punk--
Can you skateboard?: HAHAHAHAHAhahahaha.ha...haha... haaaaaa.... No
How often do you go into Vans?: Quoi? Mini-vans? Yes. Shoes, no.
What's your sneaker brand?: New Balance. @_@
Do you do stupid stuff with your friends?: Who doesn't?
How much do you get in trouble?: Not really... I've got in a little trouble at school but nothing serious.
Do you listen to the bands who are considered "posers"?: I dunno. I really don't care what people think of them and counting that a lot of them are bands that no one has ever heard of, they can't be posers. 3nodding
--Prep--
Do you shop at Abercrombie and Fitch?: I went in there once and ran out. So many jeans!!! Not to mention the gigantic portrait of a half naked man when you walk in. @_@
How many purses (bags) do u own?: A lot but I never use them. They are in my closet... scary...
Is lip gloss a must?: Erm... no...
How often do you wear makeup?: only on occasions, when I do plays, and when I'm REALLY bored. Oh, and when I have to help my brother pick out make up for himself. sweatdrop
Ever had a manicure?: I think I actually have gotten one... I just don't remember. xd
Rock music is bad, right?: I used to be a techno freak... then I met rock. We are now married and have 7 wonderful children.
Do you own high heels?: Yes and people hate the fact that I get taller. whee
Have you ever said "Oh my god"?: Yes, but I've been know to say "oh my goodness"... people laugh.
Are you a cheerleader?: No. I tend not to like cheerleaders. But there are a few...
--Punk--
you have a studded belt?:Yup.
Do you talk alot of s**t but cant back it up?: No. Hardly ever.
What music do you listen 2?: Any kind of rock. Alternatic, soft rock, hard rock, old rock, metal, emo, ska, anything really. Also some other stuff.
Are preps evil?: Some are, some aren't.
Why?: because I say so dammit.
-Hippie--
Is your hair long?: Well... a little longer then shoulder length... But I would like it to be longer.
Are you a vegetarian?: I don't eat a whole lot of meat but I know if I said that I was a vegatarian I would want a nice juicy steak. twisted
Do you own a tye dye shirt?: One that my brother made.... hehe.
Do you want peace?: Doesn't everyone?
Do you want to save the animals?: Yes.
What do you think about the war?: I don't like war. But sometimes it needs to happen. It just seems like all the wars we have are stupid.
--Gangsta--
Are you from the ghetto?: I live in the middle of nowhere.
Do you own "bling bling"?: Hehe, I have fake bling bling that I got from a barmitzfa. O.o
Do you like rap?: Not really... A little here and there.
How about hip-hop?: Again, a little here and there.
Was Tupac truly the greatest rapper in the world?: Hehe... uuuuuh... *has never listened to Tupac*
What do you think about afros?: They are cool.
Have you ever said 'fo shizzle'?: Haha, all the time
How about 'oh, snap son'?: I've said Oh snap and Son but not in the same sentence,
--Frat--
Is life a party?: I can make it one.
What's the point of getting drunk anyway?: I don't like alcohol and drunk people scare me.
Do you care about your grades?: Yup.
Do you need an attitude adjustment?: I don't think so.
How far have you been?: I've gotten to base 7! lol, not very far at all. I'm too young. @_@
--Emo--
How often do you cry?: Pretty much only when I'm laughing too hard which is like always. But I cry every once in a blue moon. It's not that it takes a lot for my to cry. It's that a lot has to build up before I can cry.
Do you have an ex?: One and I regret it every day.
Do you have an acoustic guitar?: Yup but it's small and I can't play
Are you emotional?: I don't really think so... sometimes? yes? I dunno.
Do you like soft music?: Yes as long as it isn't really mooshy gooshy
Do people understand you?: Hardly ever but that's okay. cool I'm just too crazy and sometimes I use really deep metaphors that only make sense to me... because I am crazy. @_@ But I'm sure some people can get me.
Do you write your own songs?: Yes. But they usually don't have a tune or they don't have words
--Jock--
Do you play any sports?: soccer, track, tennis, and other not really sport things like Archery, Fencing, a gun shooting.
How important are they to you?: Track is definatly really important to me.
Do you pick on the geeky kids?: Oh hell no. Geeks are hot. xd
What do you think about football?: Tackling is fun!!!
Are you considered a bully by anyone?: Hm... I don't think I am a bully but I might internally bully people with out meaning to.
--Geek--
Do you wear glasses?: no
Do you get good grades?: Yup
Are you smart?: at times. XD
Do you use an inhaler?: No but I've always wanted to try just once.
Do you stick pens and calculators into your shirt pockets? I don't have shirt pockets... and my calculator is too big!!!
Does your mom buy your clothes?: Not anymore!!! But I use her money whee
Shomoko · Fri Jul 01, 2005 @ 03:04am · 2 Comments |
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Yeah, I have to say I'm feeling pretty smug. It all started in the hellish voyde of math class. We were learning the oh sooo difficult quadratic equations. oooooh. Yeah, so I was talking to Adrias because... come on... It's math... and I look at the open door leading to out side and say "wouldn't it be great if everyone just walked out of the class room". Adrias replies, "well, why not?". "I don't think people would do it." I said back. "Might as well give it a try." she says. "Okay, should I right a note?" and she nods. So I end up writing a note saying "If you're cool, you'll walk out of the class room at 10:55. Pass it on" and I give it to Raye. Raye says "I won't be cool but I'll pass it on" Bless her little soul. She passes it to the next table. They laugh and nod with approval. I just watch a wave of little giggles and "wtf" looks go across the room as the note passes from table to table. The note comes back to me (we missed a table but that okay because it was filled with all the goody goodies) and we counted down... Litterally. It was really just me and the other girl from the first table. "3 MINUTES" We squeeled. The teacher didn't notice. "TWO MINUTES" We giggled. The teacher didn't notice. "ONE MINUTE!!!" We whispered. They teacher looked at us blankly but continued her lecture. "30 Seconds!". She still wasn't catching on. "Let's sing the quadratic equation again!" she said. "20 SECONDS!!!" All of us were watching the clock eagerly. "We should stand up and sing" The girl at the first table said. "Great idea!" The teacher said "Everyone stand up!" We did. 10 seconds. Right when we were about to start the "quatratic equations song" (which is really us saying the equations to the row row row your boat tune) we all walked out of the class except for a precious 4 or 5 who were all the goody goodies that I said before. But we didn't know what to do so we just stood outside laughing. My math teacher came out and shooed us all back in. "OKAY! WHO LEAD IT! LAURA I KNOW IT WAS YOU!" the teacher pointed at the girl at the first table. "Wh-what?! It wasn't me!!!" She sputter. "I saw you leading them!!!" She said back. "Actually, it was me." I said calmly. You could see her face soften... You see, the math teacher really favors me. I'm not sure why. Probably because I'm the only person that gets the stuff she teaches and when she begins to have a nervous break down, I step in and teach the class for her. But anyways. She just says with some what of a sob/sigh "Why?" I just shrugged. Awkward pause. "Well, for a punishment, we aren't going to sing the quadratic equation song that Meg was begging to sing." She turns around and I do my "booya/score" hand gesture because no offence... but that song is really stupid. I told me mum about it and she laughed. Laura told everyone in the Pre Algebra class about it. Wow... I feel so... Powerful. I dominated that class... I PAWNED MATH!!! WOO!!!
Shomoko · Sun May 22, 2005 @ 03:27am · 2 Comments |
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*Twing* OKay... *twing* I've officially gone m-mad. *twing twing* I k-know it. *shuddertwing* I must be crazy....
OH, FOR PETE'S SAKE! gonk *twingshivertwitch* I noticed that is one guy winked at me a lot this one day. He did it a little bit randomly on later days but I just thought nothing of it. But, holy crap, has it hit my like a ton of bricks dipped in irons today...
I was playing basket ball with this guy (who I've been told has a little crush on my but I don't believe it... okay, he asked me to the movies so maybe he does but that isn't that story I'm telling now [TJ, no it's not Mr.MM]) and this kid comes up and tells me to smell him. I'm just like, "... okay..." and I smell him. He asked me if he smelt funny and I said no. Then he started to walk away, turns around and winks at me. Suddenly I have flash back of the guy I mentioned earlier and how many times he's winked at me. I felt like curly up into a littlw ball and crying.
Is this now the new thing? Wink at Shomoko and make her feel violated? I certainly hope not. 'Cause there's this one teacher that winks at me a lot, too... good thing he's really old... I hope he doesn't like younger girls... gonk
STOP THE WINKING!!! scream gonk
Shomoko · Wed Mar 30, 2005 @ 02:35am · 3 Comments |
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Stupid Chain Letter freaks |
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Read this AIM convo. The guys name has been censored because I can't just give out people's SNs and mine has been changed aswell to prevent confusion.
ChAiNlEtTeRfReAk: annoying
ChAiNlEtTeRfReAk: don't ever leave the one u love for the one u like, beacause the one u like will leave you for the one they love, tonite your true love will realize how much they love u.Between 1 and 4 in the moring, tomorrow the shock of ur life will occur if u break the chain.and u will have bad luck for 10 years, if u don't pass this on to 15 people in 15 min IF U GET IT BACK IT MEANS YOUR A TRUE FRIEND AND IF U DELETE THIS AND DON'T PASS IT ON YOUR NAME WILL BE DELETED IF U HAVE LOVE FOR SOMEONE COPY AND PASTE.
Shomoko: ... You can't be serious, right?
Shomoko: You actually believe those things?
Shomoko: Quite frankly, I find them offensive and threatening. I don't support things that threaten others.
ChAiNlEtTeRfReAk: no i dont
ChAiNlEtTeRfReAk: they are quite annoying
ChAiNlEtTeRfReAk: i just wanted to see if other people would actually do them
Shomoko: M hm. And you continue doing it... why?
ChAiNlEtTeRfReAk: because if i have to go through the pain of those so should others
Shomoko: Now, that's kind of selfish, don't you think?
ChAiNlEtTeRfReAk: no
Shomoko: Well, that says a lot about you and a lot about the people that send those stupid things.
xd N'uf said. surprised
Shomoko · Tue Mar 01, 2005 @ 02:12am · 5 Comments |
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Okay, I think this will be a short entry.
Ten things I hate most:
1. People who think being stupid is funny... It's just not... Give up.
2. People who think it's cool to be goth... if you think its school to be goth... then you're not goth.
3. People who just don't get stuff... like simple stuff... Like... Don't talk back to your parents.
4. People who do drive by poking. It's just plain annoying.
5. People who are boastful and then end up sucking at what ever they were bragging about. Like when people brag about singing... and then you her them sing and they're tone deaf.
6. Hipocrites. N'uf said.
7. Judgmental people.
8. People who put ice in their alcohal that shouldn't have ice.
9. Clowns.
10. Lies.
Shomoko · Tue Feb 01, 2005 @ 11:20pm · 3 Comments |
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Yes, for once, I'm actually going to rant about how much it sucks to be me... gonk
Girl
Over the past couple of years, I've been coming out of my childhood dream life. It is pretty freaking apparent that women are still stereotyped. Now, don't get me wrong. I know guys get stereotyped, as well. But women have... more embarrassing stereotypes, if you will.
Lately, I've noticed that I am the one that must clean the kitchen even though I just came back at 5:30 from school and I haven't touched the kitchen. While my reaching-19-years-old brother sits on his fat a** and plays computer games. But his failure will come up later in this entry.
Now, I'm not whinning that I have to touch icky ketchup encrusted plates and have to clean week-old-milk-covered bowls. I just go to my happy place and forget that all. But my brother, like I said, is just f***ing off and my dad is watching the "snews" as he calls it.
I just don't understand why people can't help me and why the men of my house hold just can't keep the place clean. They put their dishes in the sink when the dish washer is right next to it. That's like throwing a tissue infront of a trash can while standing over it. Would it kill them to just open a door???
The Baby
Yup, I'm the youngest. The "baby" is what people usually call the youngest. They get pampered. They get anything they want. They whine and b***h. They steal the older kids stuff. I like to call my self a "Third" (reference to the book "Ender's Game). It suits me better. I do NOT get all I want. I do NOT (usually) whine and b***h. And my brother steals from ME.
My mother flat out told me that she isn't going to give me s much slack as my brother. I know I don't need it because I on my own set guide lines and standards for myself. It's just having someone else tell you, no, threaten you by saying such things. She says she isn't going to buy me as much stuff. I don't care. I hate making her buy stuff for me because I feel guilty. But having her say, "Yes, your brother gets more then you." just isn't that much fun to hear.
My mother also says that if I f*** up in school, she's not going to go so easy on me. I don't care. If I was a failure in school, I'd kill myself. But having someone say, "I'm not going to go as easy on you then your failure brother." just isn't much fun to hear. I go to a f***ing private school!!! Do you honestly think I'm just going to d**k around???
My mother says she's not going to let me be as lazy. I don't mind having to help out around the house. But having to listen to my brother's high quality speakings shake his floors from each round of amunition he shoots isn't much fun to hear.
As you can see, there is a high amount of pressure put on me because I'm the "perfect one". But if I'm so perfect, why must I be told what to do and what's going to happen to me? I know damn well what will happen. I'm the third child. The perfect one. The last hope.
1st child- Male. f*** off, failure, will probably still be living in parents house till age 22... at earliest. Also an epileptic (sp?) Specializes in Compter games, computers, Taking photographs, and finding new ways to be creepy such as applying blood to his clothing and walking into school, wearing fangs, or dressing in all black while carrying a black leather suit case with mysterious content inside (really it's just sweadish fish)
2nd child- Male. Really, really, really, really hyper. Mentally Retarded (down syndrome) Still doesn't know what to do when parents can't handle him anymore. Specializes in making farting noises in bath tube, spitting all over TV, being able to eat an endless amount of ketchup raw, and picking up ladies... yes... he really does...
3rd child- Female... Finally (they always wanted a girl) Turning into a teenager... they've never delt with a teenage girl. Acts too old for age and sometimes parents forget how old she is.... literally. No mental or physical disabilities. Probably will move out right after senior year. Specializes in Drawing, Writing, Playing piano, Taking photograph, Singing, Running, Swimming, Pretty much all achedemics (except spelling xp ), Computers, making people laugh, Forgetting things, Hitting head on tree branches because she forgets how tall she is, tripping over nothing, and observing really really odd things.
I guess I feel semi-better after letting that out. As you can see, I am the only parcially normal person in my family.
Shomoko · Mon Jan 31, 2005 @ 03:48am · 9 Comments |
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HOLY MOLEY!!!! I put so much salt on my french fries!!! ewww, I might just vomit!!!
When I was typing this to my friend(s) I though of an analogy/ metaphore... because I always do... shuddup.
Sugar
I see people who eat litterally spoon fulls of sugar. This disgusts me. Same with very sweet candy or spoon fulls of maple syrup. *coughhillarycough*
This made me see that I am slightly different from most children. Yes, it's obviously weird that I don't like candy as much, but here's where the analogy ties in.
I don't like having life too sweet for me either. I like having some rough times and bumps in the road. I think utter contentness is disturbing. (therefor, I question wanting to go to heave). Your problems are what make you interesting. They way you deal with them is what makes you. I know people who what it perfect. (Ew, I just licked deturgant... is that stuff toxic?) They want a boyfriend/girlfriend. They want money. They want good grades. They want to e pretty. They want to be popular. (My toes are black from the cold. Is that a bad sign?)
Me on the other hand, I know I don't want those all. Life would be so dull. I want an adventure. And to have an adventure, you need a problem. So, I conclude that having problems are fun.
The only problem is that now since I've decided I don't want certain things, I've lost all lust for them. That's not exactly what I wanted. For instance, I was talking to Adrias on the phone and she brought to my attention that I have lost all want for a segnificant other. I didn't mind and I still don't. I just find it odd. Having a love is like that sweet nectar that everyone always wants but few find it. I'm not interested in it. I figure it's just a phase. I'm not ready for a boyfriend, I think. I'm scared from the last one. xp
Salt
Some people like eating raw salt.... raw... That's also disgusting.
Some people perposly protray their life as bitter. *coughwannabegothscough* I find this silly. Though I do not want to be content, I will not deny I have a cooshy life. I go to a private school. I live in a fairly large house. And I am pretty smart and have okay talents.
So I won't go around saying that my life sucks and that I should just kill myself now because I have such a deep, dark past. That's a crock of s**t. *coughbrowniecough*
Sure, life can give you a big chunk of salt at times. But that's onyl a chunk. If you allow it to get to you, you will fall into a ocean that has a salt percent of 90.
I conclude that I have found the perfect food inhancer for me. Spice. I know, sugar and salt are spices but I say this intensionally.
I like having my balance of sugar, salt, pepper, cinamon, garlic powder, chilly power, etcetera . You put them in thr broth of life and you get some damn fine soup... hmmm... Cinamon in soup... interesting.
A soup with just salt in it would be too salty. Just sugar... I'd fire you for a chef... just garlic powder, my vampire brother would kill you. and so on and so forth.
What soup do you brew?
Shomoko · Sat Jan 22, 2005 @ 06:28am · 1 Comments |
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