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I used to work at a pet store back in September. It was possibly one of the worst jobs I ever had; I am so glad I am not working there any more... in fact when my work life is feeling bleak and making me anxious, I look back and remember King Ed Pets. Nothing could be worse than working that god damned job.... the only thing good about it was being surrounded by animals, but the animals were not that well taken care of. If I tried to give them more love or attention I was "slacking off". I had to be brief in cleaning their cages and handling them. That's just not me. It's not cool if you want to sell tame animals, either.

There were a few observations I made about pet owners there. You know how they say people look like their pets, etc... well this can be true, but I noticed something about a certain kind of pet owner.

Bird people are ******** insane.

I don't like having to talk to these kinds of people. A lot of the time they seem to be lonely old ladies with a certain aura about them, one that makes me kind of uncomfortable. I remember this one woman who wore this yellow frock with... well, lets skip what she wore because what I noted more was how horrible her painted-on eyebrows looked with her makeup. It was BRUTAL. She stepped towards me asking me about parakeets, I believe. Now, I knew very little about birds in general, and thank ******** for that 'cause that meant I didn't have to talk to her for very long and I called on someone else to help her.

I just don't see the appeal. They're not that cuddly, and they are noisy little assholes. When I'd be cleaning their cages in the "bird room", they'd all be squawking at once and this room echoed like a b*****d so it was almost deafening. I found a way to shut them up-- all very briefly, but it was amusing.

I would start to whistle-- whether a tune or just a loud, shrill, single note, they would all shut up in unison for just under five seconds of bliss. I'd time it outside their attention span of a few minutes, otherwise I was just one of them again and they'd ignore me. I had to be random or the little buggers would just continue making me deaf and angry.

Now don't get me wrong, I like birds in the wild. As pets, though... it's just sad, really. I mean my pet chinchilla is a caged pet but I let him out to run and he gets a lot of cuddle time- in fact right now he's nestled inside my shirt here. He gets a lot of love. Birds are meant to fly and be free, damnit!

*ahem* moving on...

So yeah. Bird people. Crazy and annoying, especially when they talk to you about purchasing one or shopping for food/toys/items for their bird.

I am so glad I am not working there any more. It was run by a Korean family, particularly the daughter of the original owner who overstocks her store and works you til you drop. Everyone who works there seems miserable. Her own brothers and sisters complain about how she overstocks her store among other things... she has even bossed her mother around when her mom was hobbling around with a bad back, yelling at her to hurry up... everyone working there is pretty dead inside.

Did I mention I am glad I don't work there any more?

The s**t I had to do there.
I worked 9 hour shifts for minimum wage (nope, no overtime!) vacuuming, mopping, cleaning many cages, feeding everyting from bunnies to tarantulas and helping customers and giving people pets or food for pets that I didn't think deserved to breathe. I hated giving mice and rats to people to feed their snakes. I love snakes, but I don't like that they eat cute furry little mousies.
I remember putting a couple mice into a box for this one guy who, once he turned around and started to leave, shook the box with the little guys inside rather violently, I could imagine the poor things getting knocked around in there. I can only imagine (reluctantly) what they do to those sad little creatures before they feed 'em to their snake.

I also had to gather and count crickets, meal worms and king worms. I got so sick of hearing, over the intercom, "20 cricket prease! 20 cricket!" in fact I got sick of the word cricket for a good long while.

Even while cleaning the cages in the furry animal/lizard room, suddenly turning around to see the annoying head of a customer peering in the small window by the door asking for crickets. Get those crickets your own goddamn self.

******** crickets.
Damn things were kept in a large garbage can with the bottoms of egg cartons to help you gather them. It got to be kind of creepy sometimes. Individually counting these things and putting them into bags... at least they don't bite, unlike the king worms. I never got bit by one but I was quick when picking through them, they felt pretty gross because they'd snap their bodies towards your fingers when you picked them up and they could bite in that time but the feeling of their scaly little bodies squirming between my fingers kept me going as fast as possible.

Cripes, this is a long a** post, isn't it? I guess that's enough for now. I'll torture y'all later with more ramblings some other time.

Have a Happy Canada weekend, my fellow Canucks, and the rest of you go celebrate by being thankful you don't work at King Ed Pets.