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Ayelei
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Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 @ 10:41pm

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	Yesterday night Yesterday night was the best finally i felt our old remarkable relationship it was the best you know. My boyfriend and i just talked and flirted like we use to. It was the best gift ever i enjoyed every bit of it. Thank you Lord.

Posted: Sat Jun 18, 2005 @ 03:46am

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	yet and still it doesn't matter It's amazing just a few hours ago and i was ranting and raving and just a hello on the phone turns it around. No he is amazing.....I am his Buffy and he is my Spike as silly as it sounds. God i hate to love him some times but love is all i can do.....loving him gives me purpose. Nothing has been discussed nothing is official but as long as he can utter the words, "I love you" then it doesn't matter...... as long as there is a tomorrow then there is hope. PEACE

Ayelei
Community Member

Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2005 @ 11:09pm

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	Damn How is it that no matter my intention everything goes wrong? scream My anniversary was horrible and the night ended with me feeling helpless and lost once more. crying I love my boyfriend...hell i can even say fiance but the real question is "is he really ready to be in a serious relationship just yet?". He knows i would go the extra mile for him and he would for me but is it enough. Hell if i know...my dear reader excuse me for my language. I want to make this work so bad....i love him i really do. Looking back on my life i've said that quite a few times and haven't meant it..but this is somehow different like fate or something...as cheesy as that sounds. redface I love everything about him...his smile....the color of his eyes...his kisses.....i love it when he expects me to wake him up in the morning and no matter how awful i look or how bad my morning breath is he wants me right there. I love the fact he challenges me to think harder...how he rivals my strengths and knowledge to make them better. I love the way he lectures me and teaches me important life lessons. redface redface redface I could spend my life with him...but i don't want to compromise myself..i refuse to. I feel as if it is meant to be then i wont have to compromise you know..i don't. I just wish he would tell me the sweet things he use to....tell me..how he wants this for a future.....

Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2005 @ 02:35am

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	One more day left Damn it ! how did today turn out soooo wrong. All i wanted wuz to talk to my lover. He seemed nonintrested in me today. I was so pissed....i know i probably did something he thought was wrong that i didn't see anything wrong with. That doesn't even matter!! I love him and that's all that count! Hopefully tomorrow will be a good one becuz all i want to do is share our anniversary together. You know... All night we fussed and argued but its cool you know becuz we'll see through this together...i just know it.

Ayelei
Community Member

Posted: Wed Jun 15, 2005 @ 03:19am

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	Another day goes by Hello to whoever is looking at my journal. I desperatly miss my boyfriend back in my hometown NorthCarolina. I miss him more than he knows and in two more dayz we will have been going together for two months. I feel awfully guilty for not being home for it. I feel as if i abandon him on our anniversary. Oh well all i can do is make up for it when i return home.

Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2005 @ 08:34pm

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	Today Hello world, I'm in colorado Springs and has since been here for about a week. Everything is new here to me, even the atmosphere is foreign to me. It is very unlike my home back in NorthCarolina. Yet here I feel a subtle easiness unlike before yet I still long to return home.

Ayelei
Community Member

Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2005 @ 07:16pm

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	Just I Today has been quite adventurous but nothing I cant 'handle. Its been along time since I've last been seen. So here I am world.

Posted: Tue Nov 16, 2004 @ 06:01pm

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	another day I'm in class now, yet all I can think of is him. My dear sweet first love. The one who took my heart and left. He is so beautiful and his silence attracts me all the more. I sit here wondering where do I go from here. Wondering will I move on or be alone. crying

Ayelei
Community Member

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