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life's starting to take its toll seeing thing knowing things you would think its all for the better but some times its not im home schooled so i dont get out much i dont know many people i only have two freinds who are three years younger then me its better then nothing i supose but some times i wonder if its enough my freinds they dont seem to the way i am they dont like to just hang out or just sit and do nothing there always doing some thing playing games like tag or just chasing around they get fun out of it but to me its just running around i supose sence im older i dont find those games fun any more....both my freinds are guys and i have no female freinds so there is no sadness for me when i get hurt no one says are you ok no one helps me up they just laugh and call me names i dont mind its what guys do and it would be creepy if they started being nice...but its missing...some one there to help me up and say are you ok and not call me names...some one to hold my hand help me feel better when im down or to just be there with me whether its just standing there siting laying or any thing no ones there....and its realy starting to bum me out i cant do any thing about it i wish i could but i cant i have a feeling in my stomach its tearing me up and i cant take it when i have the feeling i just want to start crying and not do any thing till it gos away but i dont think it will.....