the day drew its end and
as I was walking home,
I became lost in thought
so lost, I didn't see that
I was going off the road
I tried
to not to look at
other people walking by
I didn't want them to see
my eyes and my heart
heavy in its own grief caused
by me
or to others I had cherished
I walked to my home, and
found its lot to be bare
much like other things I know
my heart plumited further
I hesitated
to turn the key and open the
door and to continue to lie
to myself and everyone
I tried to stop the sadness
I never wanted to turn around
I never
want to let go of it
I guess I'm too dependent
I'll die without it, I'm sure
I tried not to cry just then
it was painful to walk away
again,
and again, and again
what was bright and joyful for
one moment, bled into the
shadow waiting behind, there
was no escape from its grasp
maybe,
I am faited to this lonliness,
not good enough to hold on to
what I treasure, passionately
attempts to do otherwise, well
to say the least it was an utter
failure
to bring happiness, had I known
it would be so complicated
I never would have suggested it
so please forgive me, a sinner
hoping for so much more than
I deserve
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