I don't suppose anyone ought to be held accountable for things said or done when under the influence of high-running emotions. But in every unintended remark, plea, or accusation, there is an irrational fear that isn't spoken of in quieter moments.
I am under a bit of emotion right now. It's quiet at the moment, bottled, controlled, and I rather hope to write it away now so that when I see the person that has angered me, I will not make an unwise (if a little justified) comment. I have no intention of pissing off a friend of mine just because she may have implied something that irritates the piss out of me.
Why should I not be pissed off when a friend of mine is afraid that the passions of her ex-boyfriend and I will automatically result in sex? Why should I not resent the fact that she cannot see that no such passion exists between us, that any relationship more than friendship was well over more than four years ago? Why should I not feel insulted when she implies that I cannot be trusted?
Why do I have to deal with this mistrust not once but twice in one month? From two different women? Granted, the first young woman may have had some grounds - her ex-boyfriend and I had quite a history, and frankly if she never figured out that he cheated on her with me early in their relationship, she's a lot more dense than I thought.
Ouch. Shot myself in the foot, eh? Well. It was a long time ago, I can't be anything resembling a threat to anyone anymore, can I?
I guess what I don't understand is why these women just can't figure out that their men are free to sleep with whomever they choose. Why can't these ladies let go? Why can't they see that the relationship is ******** over, that they have no cause to be calling anyone up and asking "Where's Paul?" or "Is Jason there???" That even if they may have had their respective mens' dicks in a jar on the shelf, any claim they might have thought they had is well and OVER. The men are adults, the relationship is over, and no matter what I may have thought of each of these young women, I have my dignity, and I am not without willpower, as little as I might need it in either case.
This is why I hate women. Nigh onto every one I've ever met has turned into a raving psycho b***h on me - particularly those who's boyfriends past or present I'm friends with. What is it in me that brings this out??? Thank god all the men I know are sane and rational individuals.
 Adeiras · Thu Oct 07, 2004 @ 02:12am · 0 Comments |
