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I want to be a paperback writer!!!! |
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I am so extremely bad with money.
I guess things wouldn't be quite so bad right now if I didn't have a friend that owed me over two hundred dollars, and if I hadn't wanted to use that money to buy myself a really good winter coat that would actually last a few years...
I'm just in so much financial trouble right now. My landlord needs money, and I don't know if I can work enough to pay him all that he needs. The fact that I haven't got ANY savings at the moment is really holding me back.
Where are the sacrifices I need to make? Ok, I don't really need the internet, but god, does it ever keep me sane. I need a phone, but I don't need it costing me a hundred dollars each month because I'm too nice a person... I don't need my cats, but they've not ever cost me more than twenty bucks a month anyway between food and kitty litter, and I don't know how I'd get rid of them anyway. Brookings doesn't really have a Humane Society building or anything, and the nearest one is about an hour away, and of course, I don't have a cat carrier, and yeah, buying one for one or two hours of use would be awesome! =/
I really need to be more particular about where and what I eat, but unfortunately I can't really afford to cut back on food, because I'm close enough to the edge of my acceptable weight right now as it is, and if I start dropping below healthy levels, my ability to work well drops, which means even LESS money! Vicious cycle.
God, I hope I get paid more than $5.15 an hour when I bartend... that would make life so much easier, considering just how many hours I put in doing that.
Thank god school isn't tyring right now, and thank god I'm not trying to be involved in theatre. Thank god I don't even feel the urge. I love my theatre friends, but I can't committ the time to the job anymore. So thank god that at least has been excised from my life.
I need to start doing more creative writing... I've had more good revelations about my first book's rewrite in the past two months than I really had since I started writing the damn thing more than a year ago. Christ, getting close to two years. I need to get my a** in gear on this. What I really need is more discipline. I'm not at all a disciplined writer. I can be effing brilliant when I want to be, but I can't just sit down and write a page every day, which would at least be a start, considering I've only just started in on chapter four, and I still don't really have much of an idea of the plot (since of course the old one was more or less crap), only general directions, and mental clarifications of character development and such. Though I have to admit, it's so nice to have those clarifications. It's nice to really understand some of the fricking people I've been writing about these past... what... six or eight years?
Christ.
No, see, what I REALLY need to do is start up my own internet pornography site. 100% naked pictures of me. That'd rock, right? Then the bucks would just ROLL in, right?
Right?
Christ...
 Adeiras · Fri Oct 14, 2005 @ 07:28am · 0 Comments |
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