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Over the summer one of my cousins' cousin from Turkey came over on a work visa to visit my family and work. She stayed over my grandparents house. Although she's lived in Turkey her whole life, she's studying English as her major, so she wanted to come to America to hone her English speaking skills and learn more about American culture. In the short time that we got to know each other, we've become great friends and I love her like a sister. Alas, she had to go back to Turkey, and I lost another great friend. So much has happened between us (but I can't tell anything cuz I promised to keep everything a secret between us). The only reason I'm including her in my journal is so that I'll never forget her.

One of the most upsetting things is to lose a friend. It's happened to me soo many times I can't even count the number....but each and every time it hurts me. Even if I barely even knew the person, even if I only saw them for a couple of days, to be torn apart from someone is unbearable. I consider myself to be a lonley person, apart from the rest of the world. Most of the time I'm left alone to scrounge around the bare earth by myself with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company. At times I become so lonley I talk to myself. But when I find a friend in someone, in the short time I spend with them all my lonliness melts away. The moment I lose that friend, either because one of us moves away or simply because we stopped talking to each other, that envelope of loniliess starts to wrap itself around me again. And once again I'm left in the darkness. That's why it hurts to lose a friend. That's why it's unbearable to be torn apart.

This is why I hold my memories so dear to me. To outsiders they may seem like insignificant facts about my life, but to me they are dearer than life. To me, these memories are proof that I had someone in my life, a light in my darkness. But these memories are also proof that even though friendships can live forever, unspoken in the unconscious, friends can fade away. Like a basket of flowers.