Today was ok...not really good. It was ok untill lunch...i couldn't find Kenny, so i poked michelle to ask her if she had seen him >.< she snapped at me not to poke her. so that like flipped my mood instantly to sad and i walked away. I grabbed my guitar and packpack and went up to my next class to put it out of my way.
Nothing against michelle....its just that that made me feel kinda how i do when i ask my mom something and then my dad will snap at me something about being a lazy a** or not deserving anything...-_-; and i can't help the poking thing, its just part of how i get people's attention. I will say their name and tap their shoulder or poke them on the shoulder.
So then i basically...X_X felt like i wanted to cry....so i went down to this one hallway i think in the 300 hall.Kenny goes there sometimes, because i just didn't want to be around people at that time. A while later i started wandering around again and i did find kenny, he was in the career center playing cards....i went in for a second to say hi...but i promptly started feeling like i wanted to cry again, so i left and went back to that hall.
It was during lunch that i ended up getting this splitting headache that i had all day untill i got home. >.< even now its threatening to come back.
And i was told i looked stoned out of my mind today by Marty, a friend in guitar class/the second guy i asked to homecomeing but got turned down by, he also teased me and said that drawing and writting on zak's arm in japanese and tryig to get his pen out of his pocket were my ways of flirting with Zak.
(*shrugs* maybe they were. i don't really "flirt" wink
And when i started laughing at that he said i turned red to match my guitar. D: laughing did NOT help my headache. (i wrote Zaku Ai yaoi on zak's arm....XP wich would be Zak love yaoi XD it was funny because he didn't know smile ) But it did help me feel better.
So i don't know...today had its ups and downs and balanced out to be ok.
sad i'm still lonley though. In a way it feels like no one can fix, or wants to.
i guess if i want to try and be positive...i can look and see...i have a few more guy friends now...Zak...Marty...Brett....but Kenny is still the only guy i am really close to. The others are more ...low ranking friends. They are people to talk to, but not really people to confide in. Just people to joke around with. Brett confuses me...he started talking to me daily on the bus after i started going to Japanese club and he gets concerned and asks whats going on when i'm not in a good mood...so....i just really wonder about him sometimes. X_X *just confused myself again* WHY can't i READ MINDS? X_X that would be so handy...
 HatsuharuRocks · Fri Dec 01, 2006 @ 06:22am · 3 Comments |
