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You know, I've noticed that it really pisses me off when Alex complains about not being able to go to mini courses. It's not so much Alex, but the attitude that's behind it. Yeah, it'd be fun to go, but don't give me that crap about how it's only the smart kids that get to go.

Know what?! I've been through so much s**t from people for being above average, been made fun of so many times because I can grasp concepts that elude them, that I'd better ******** get something for it! If I can handle it, why shouldn't I get first dibbs on an opporunity that would benefit me?!

I don't think that people who weren't identified know just how cruel other people can be, especially kids. It's a permanent brand, a mark on my head that will follow me around for the rest of my life and I can't escape it.

Because of it, people judge me before they know me. They assume that they know every aspect of my life and how I live it because they know I get good grades easily. They assume that I spend my days locked away in my room, pouring over my books and notes, memorizing and never doing anything else with my life.

I don't mean to sound like I think I'm better than everyone else, which I don't, but sometimes you just want to scream '******** you! I don't spend my life with my nose in a book, I just get it faster than you, idiot! Who are you to laugh at me when your pitiful just goes way too slow!?l That what I thought! Go sit in your corner and cry because you're doomed to a life smelling of french-fries!' It's so agravating to have to see their smugg looks, when it would be so easy to cut their egos down to size.

I know that's harsh, but believe me, it's nowhere near as bad as the kind of crap I used to take. It got to the point when I couldn't even go half an hour without some smartass making a crack about PGL or nerds or whatever. I'm actually amazed that I didn't start flipping desks and throwing things.

Enough of that, and back to my point. Why should I, or anyone else who's identified, have to give up our opportunities because someone else wants in? I mean, it's not like they ask athletes to give up their scholarships or won't let them make a team because someone else wants to play. When it all comes down to it, we all have muscle-groups that are a little more developed than others. Why should we be expected to hang back, not strive for our full potential because we just so happen to use a DIFFERENT muscle group?

True, everyone deserves opportunity, but you will never hear anyone ask an athlete to not try, to just sit there and watch so that other people less skilled than they are can feel special too. Why should we have to take all the cutbacks and s**t from people? It just doesn't make sense to me.


So, no, I don't think it's unfair that the 'smart kids' get first dibbs. They can handle the workload, they would benefit the most from it, and they're not just using it as a week off school. Don't act like you've been there, because you really haven't. Like they say, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Don't think you're an expert if you've never experienced it.