Random comment. *shrugs*
Today was balh. I didn't really want to do anything, but I had to y'know. I went walking today... After Wendy and I got into it, I walked off at about 5.. I feed the dog first though. I walked out, and was thinking about going to Domino's to go see Niota.. but.. I walked into the desert instead. I was always curious about where the road leads... I just kept walking and wlaking and walking. I walked even when there was a fork in the road. I took the path that looked like it went on forever. I just kept walking.. and walking... Knowing that the more I walked away, the more I would have to wak back. After a long while, i STARTED TALKING TO MYSE.F BECAUSE THE THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD WERE GOING TO EPLODE.
mANY THOUGHTS went into my mind... [no im not fixing the caps in the entry]
The little thoughts in the back of the mind that second0guess ever little thing that you do. That always make you feel like you failed, even when you tried your very best, and throw the past back in your face just to laugh at you.
Those kind of thoughts and feelings.
I walked on and on without having anywhere to really go, wondering if this was completely wrong. If I was just being childish and selfish... If I really could do this.. To continue walking on and never looking back..
But I did look back. But only once... I kep twalking along the road, never stopping..
Stopping always meant...
Never wanting to start again.
If you were on the path
If you walked this path for so long
If you started to forget where you came from
When you looked at the footprints you followed
When you followed it so blindly
When the footprints stopped you were completely lost
You took any road that would lead you astray
You walked on, not caring anymore
You became lost in its endlessness
Even when there was a fork in the road
Even if neither road held any promises to you
Even if neither road looked better than the other
Could you find the courage to take the path
Could you truly run away from your fears
Could you look anew and find happiness?
I cried as I walked. I cried and wondered if I was work anything. What were my goals? Why was I out here in the first place? How did I feel? What could I do? What was set out before me? What were the expectations? Of myself and of others? Where do you draw the line? Where do you stop caring and do what you need to do above all others?
The answer you find is never easy. You must look on your own, you must stip away the doubts and darkness swelling in your heart.
Remember who you live for, who you are, how you got there, where you came from, and what's waiting for you...
Because of everything that's happened..
I can experience true emotion.
No longer hiding, and pretending that I'm happy or sad.
Never masking the turth. Honesty is the best policy. But no one really means that. They want to hear what they want to hear. THey want white lies. They want lies all the same. But what if that perspective is the turth to you? Then there's nothing more to be sad.
Yes, true emotion...
Rejection, sadness, self-loath, joy, grief, abandonment, lonliness, courage, strength, truth, fiction, lies, reality, fantasy, embaressment, excitemnent, faded dreams and lost hope..
And love.
True emotion.
Even if you're gone..
Even if you're not here with me.
Your heart is with me..
And that will make the sunset look even more beautiful.
The darkness is less cold
The road will seem more friendly
The distance will seem much shorter
View User's Journal
If I Fade Away
.....Would anyone notice?
 |
