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If I Fade Away
.....Would anyone notice?
01/14/06
29. 1st Week Finished

I’m in Band, Computer Applications, English III Honors and Choir this semester. A lot of stuff happened in a week, actually. Niota came to the birthday party Julie had and we kinda fed her + her family. XD Ah well it was fun and we had a bon fire. I’m 1st chair again which is pretty sweet. Niota came over today, and I also got my health card yesterday. Niota and I played games and stuff and it was pretty fun. I also got to eat Chinese! Hooray!

Oh… and on Thursday, the night after Niota got a call from Devri about a scholarship, that morning she said that she was going to go for it and graduate early. I just felt like my whole world crashed. She also said that she was sick of being in school and doing nothing. I can sympathize, but… I was just so sad about having her gone, frustrated that she had promised to graduate with us and then decided not to, weak in the heart and stomach because of what I might have to do to graduate with her and I just felt sick, dizzy, confused and depressed the following hour and a half. After I returned to the counselor’s office about my ACT scores (which finally came in) I was just in a daze. My scores are good enough to get into the schools I listed though, but… *sighs indefinitely* However… I had decided that if she did decide to go, I wouldn’t stand in her way if that was what she truly wanted from the bottom of her heart.

When I came out, I looked down not wanting to face her, but forced myself to just to pretend that it didn’t bother me as much as it did. Just when I was about to say something about it she told me that she wasn’t going to do it and I felt so relived and full of life again. Honestly I’m not really sure what I would do with myself without her, you know?

Oh, and it happened just in case anyone wants to know…





 
 
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