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do i know what i want in life? no i do not. i am not afriad to admit that. most people are like i want this and i want that but do they want it really? no b/c if it's a toy they want they play with it for sometime but then they just leave it to fill up with dust under their bed. and if it's some lipstick they use it about three times and then leave it on their table for a month and throw it away and find a new color. you see they didn't really want it. at the time maybe but in the long run they didn't really want or need it at all. they just thought they did.

Like for example. I had a fight with my ex-friend heather. at the time i was like "I want this fight. I know that i'll be happy and smug about it and that sounds like something i really want." but when it happened i was talking all smug like until i realized what it did to my friend. yeah i had trust issues but i could have just told her that and not have sunk so low as to going behind her back and going under cover for info. so am i happy about the fight with her? no i'm not in the least. it upsets me that i lost a good friend who hadn't done anything wrong. so i guess in the long run i didn't want it at all.

My little sister all the time says "I want this poly" and so my parents are like okay we'll get it for her. but when they get it for her she plays with it five times and then loses it somewhere in the deep depths of our room. and 2 months later she finds it and tosses it aside for sometime later and never plays with it again. That's what she does with all her toys. so she didn't really want them to begin with she just needed something to entertain her for some time.

So what do i want in life? i can't tell you. even at the end of life i could never tell you what i wanted b/c humans don't know what we want. we just think we need it and want it and will use it but we never do. all we know is the knowledge we have with us and that we can carry it on to others. so don't ask yourself what you want in life ask yourself what you need in life and then fight for it with your life. and then when you get it you'll truely know if you really wanted it for the long run or not