>Be me, a tabaxi cleric
>Be not me, a dwarf barbarian
>Go to coffinmaker's house to ask about a missing body
>Go around the back because the door is locked and he refuses to open it
>Successfully break in
>Both sneak in quietly
>Dwarf then nat1's a roll to sneak to and listen through a door in the house
>Imagine the following in 5 seconds:
>Kills the ******** door with his entire heavy armored dwarf body
>Coffinmaker on the other side panics and starts to run out of the house
>Dwarf also panics
>Dwarf throws huge ******** hammer at the old man "without the intent to kill"
>Breaks the man's legs and knocks him unconscious
>Cleric witnessed this 5 sec escalation and couldn't do a thing to stop it
>Dwarf tries to frantically find a place to trap the man before he wakes up
>Tries to lock him in a coffin
>Cleric suggest to just sit him in a chair and tie him to it
>Heals his legs
>Dwarf interrupts his panic to calmly ask DM if man is wearing socks
>Dwarf was looking for a gag
>Whole table laughs about it
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Oh, a little of this, a little of that.