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Nov 27th, 2017

So, it's been a while since my update but things plateaued then started to go downhill and fast. I'm not sure exactly how much is me overreacting and being overly sensitive but I do know this is part of it. I'm just fed up and every little thing is setting me off.

Firstly, I ended up changing my anxiety medication. I felt so sick on Cipralex that I could not function. In the past 2 months I showed up to work 7 days and didn't get through a single full day. I was too dizzy and nauseous.

This I would be able to deal with if my grandmother wasn't so nosy, manipulative, and unbelievably over bearing. If it weren't for the fact that she can't take care of herself and she has pets who would suffer if I did, I'd have moved out already.

This brings me to my third concern. I am living in a house with 5 pets, 4 medium sized dogs (belgian shepherds for the curious), and a cat but three of these guys are seniors with health issues. Naughty and Shooter, the two senior dogs, are getting worse. Shooter, who also has kidney problems) spent three days unable to get to his feet and messed all over the floor and himself because of it and Naughty is incredible thin and no matter how much her food is increased we can't get to her gain weight. This coupled with the fact that she's very shaky on her legs makes my mother things she may have a thyroid condition. I've seen it before in my childhood cat and she didn't last long after the diagnoses. Finally there's Babe, the cat who spend years in isolation because the basement was in such a stated of squalor that no one could get down to check on her. She's also been depressed since her companion passed away (Fluffy was between 16-18, same as Babe and they had been together since they were 6 weeks old). She had no one, Now, I'm living in the basement with her, she has company and I'm able to keep an eye on her but she has a lump on her face and we've ruled out an abscess. It is a tumor and chances are that it is cancerous.

Needless to say I'm exhausted. I'm the only one who does any cleaning, the only one who spends time with her pets, the only one who takes any responsibility for anything that goes on in this house and I have my own health issues to deal with and my own life to lead. I need a break.