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Nov 2nd, 2017

Alright, so I've been on my anxiety medication for a while now and I'm starting to feel like an actual human being.

Now in case anyone is reading these entries who is experiencing anxiety and feels like they need some help in keeping together, I'll tell you this now: My doctor and my pharmacist both downplayed the symptoms and red flags that my medication (Cipralex 20mg) can cause. While I was taking half a tablet I felt nauseous and dizzy but what they never told me was that after 7-10 days that's supposed to go away. I never got to that point. Just as I started to feel better (8 days later) I was told to start taking the full 20mg dose. This made my violently, physically ill which was listed as a side effect online but I was never informed that should this start happening I was to call my doctor immediately to have the dosage altered. I was sick for 5 days before I felt that something was wrong.

Something else that my doctor didn't tell me but my pharmacist filled me in on when I called to say I was sick was the it isn't uncommon for doctor's to prescribe a higher dose of anxiety medication that is needed for faster results. This can really upset your system and make you very sick. To my doctor, thanks for having quick results in mind but I was already an anxious mess, I didn't need flu like symptoms too.

I'm happy taking the 10mg dose (though I need to get a hold of my doctor to have my file updated and my prescription altered) and I'm feeling much more like my old self. Everyone sees it. I've never gone to work happy, I work in a call centre and take verbal abuse for 8 hours, I'm not happy to be there, but this past Sunday I was happy. More than that, I was downright joyful. I was having a swell day where this overwhelming sense that I'm drowning wasn't weighing me down. People couldn't believe that I'm actually a happy person because they've only ever gotten to know me while I'm drowning. I'm by no means cured, I'm only starting to feel like a person, but this progress is promising. I'm excited to see how this changes my life.