Hello the strange people who actually read these ramblings. How are you all? I don't know why I ask this when I know no one will answer. Guess it makes me feel better about talking to myself. How have you been? I hope you are well. Ah.. I get it I get it, Enough with the idle chatter, let us get right down to this.
Life updates: My father disowned me officially. It hurt but I have had my time to grieve over it and I have worked past it on my own. I don't really wish to dwell on it too long. If anyone asks about it I'll talk more on it but otherwise I would really like to avoid it. My former father is refusing to sign off on mom's house. Without that signature we cannot refinance the house or renew the mortgage. If we can't do that we have to some how make up the remaining balance of the mortgage by next august or else we lose the house. Now there is no legal way to make that much money so quickly so we are all praying to every divine entity that he signs that damn document lest we be homeless.
Mom's stress has been through the metaphorical roof and she has resulted to taking out her angry on me in the form of verbal and mental attacks. It has caused me much distress but I have decided not to take legal actions because.. surly.. she doesn't mean what she's saying, right? She's just angry at my former father and doesn't know how to express it... right? That's what I'm telling myself at least.. Maybe I'll believe it sooner or later?
what else.. .
Oh! I spent the past Wednesday-Friday at my Grandmothers helping my brother completely clean the house. We changed her couch to a safer, newer couch because the old couch was very very dead as well as a health and safety hazard. She was really angry at my brother and I and called us some.. choice words but by the next day she apologized and seemed to really like the new couch. She says her knees aren't hurting as much and she seems to be having an easier time getting on and off the couch too~! I'm glad it helped her... From what I'm told she's been in higher spirits since the switch too which is good. She seems to be slowly recovering from the horrible night in June and I am really happy to see improvements in her! She's finally reached the point where she accepts and understands that Grandpa isn't coming home and that he has passed on.. It hurts to think about it but I am happy she is slowly coming to accept it and move forward.
Another Life update is that I started to study for the GED test so I can finally finish school. It will be a lot easier to just do the test instead of doing three online courses which will drive me insane. I'm not good with textbook work. Over the past two days I wrote the entrance test which is just a practice test for the people im working with to know where I need help and what I can focus on to improve so I Can pass the test. I'm proud of myself for finally taking the step and finishing my education. I have been considering a college computer course for after the GED. It's a part-time course so I can work from home and its to learn how to build and maintain websites. I think it also includes some general programming stuff which I think is a pretty useful skill set to have in our current day in age.
Aside from the things stated above all thats really new is that I have cleaned the house more, got a bookshelf and cleaned off the top of my desk since i have a place to put the books now. I also have been playing a lot of bioshock and boarderlands between working on art. It's been fun. I have almost beaten bioshock on all its difficulties! though i still havent gotten all the achievements, I can't bring myself to kill the little sisters. It hurts my heart to think about killing sweet little girls. ;-; I can't do it man. So that's my life updates,
and now for our regularly scheduled nonsense .
I recently re-found a song I really really loved, Ai Kotoba. It's a gorgeous song and it really makes me think of a special someoneā„ So It will probably stay on my profile for a while~ Despite my extreme distress i'm tryin to keep my spirit up. I promised a friend i would fight through my depression spell and try my best not to check out of this life. It's hard when i'm battling alone but I am slowly managing to fight through it. I miss talking to him on the regular... but! Life gets in the way of adult life soooo .. Yeeaahh I have to keep fighting. if I dont, I wont ever be able to talk to him again so! I gotta! :>
I have done more art lately, almost finished my commissions and done some personal stuff. a lot of my personal stuff wont go live until october because its a lot of gore but hey! Always good to have backlog!
Can I take a quick moment to mention that Handsome Jack is my s**t right now...? Just like.. Please? I'd like to dodadodalalala with that psychopath! If only I could have an RP with a jack rper i think it would be the best back and forth of antagonizing, specially since I play siren in the games, lol~
I am going to try to be on more often, I just hope I still have friends around to hang out with me.
Anyways i'm running out of things to ramble about.
I'm goin to go back to art and wishing he would talk to me,
Until later
-Lue
 Lucifer Knightroad · Thu Sep 21, 2017 @ 04:52am · 0 Comments |
