I ******** up. I stabbed myself in the heart and ******** up, as always. ugh..
So today I went to take some pictures in the forest downtown for a friend of mine. I took my moms dog with me [which i should know is a bad idea] And , as always, it was a bad idea. I had to carry him a few times and he nearly pulled the both of us off the rocky ledge into the river than runs through town. eeuughh. That wasn't fun. I put too much strain on my leg and now I can't seem to walk without some sort of limp. 10/10 me.
On a positive note i did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen table, kitchen counter, and bathroom counter and mom seemed happy with me. I even gave the dog a bath so mom didn't have to later. So. least a little good.
Hopping back on the angst train I think my friend is going to abandon me. But I expected that. It doesn't hurt any less to think of but hey, what can you do when you live in a shoe? I.. Don't really want them to leave but.. I can't force them to stay. I will keep my distance until they speak to me, if they speak to me. If not, then I will cherish the short time they were part of my life and try to keep walking.
It's all I can do...
My dysphoria has been cranked up to 11 today too so, im sorta unstable in that regard. gotta love people going out of their way to try and force you to be what you aren't. I really haven't had any decent help calming that so, I just hope i can figure out a way to make myself chill out on that topic.
Well..
that's all for today.
Until later.
-Lue
 Lucifer Knightroad · Sun Jun 11, 2017 @ 07:07am · 0 Comments |
