i never realized how lazy my dad was and by extension i was until recently. he comes home, sits in his chair and drinks bear till he goes to bed. has the audacity to complain he is "to tiered". mom would cook, clean, do dishes, make lunches and breakfast for him, take the ttc to work and home and never complain even when he wont change the channel off his stupid shows she hates and hes drunk almost every single night. i at least would help her put away the groceries, he would just come in and sit down and ask when dinner was. now, he still dose it. he goes shopping on his own but wont put it away, literally asked me to help my mother put it away last time and shes using a frikking walker. another time he was putting stuff away and making a big deal out of it like he should be complemented he did a good job. hes literally doing what needs to be done and he expects to be praised? i did it with no expectations just to help mom. today i cooked all my own food and did dishes so that his family member, who comes over and dose our dishes, which is completely un reasonable, wouldn't have to do them FOR us every day. he hasn't cooked since the weekend, which was a dry, tasteless bird that i couldnt cut with a steak knife. i made my own food all week since. hek he came home today and cooked HIMSELF eggs. i offer to cook him food, ask if hes hungry, even make extra and not only do i get no thanks but he brands me as lazy and says everyone else is doing all the work. i went to the gym, came home, did dishes, cooked myself dinner and even looked after my mom all day and he dosn't do anything but come home and think about himself. i can not believe i was so close to being like that, i swear by the old gods and the new i will never allow myself to be that selfish and lazy if i live alone or with someone. mind you if i ever get treated like mom has been all these years im out. no one deserves to be a slave in there own home.
this is why being dumped was such a good thing, it made me realize who i was becoming and i don't want to be him. this week ive gone to the gym once (anxiety stopped me today), worked on my 3d models for a portfolio, played a few games and looked up information on getting my licence as well as take the online test a few times and will more until i can get it perfect and memorize it. if i can't look after myself and exist to be better for me, then i don't deserve to be with someone. i don't respect the person i was, how could i expect someone else to. one day someone else will find me, someone whole, and that day i plan to be whole. then we can only better each others life and i wont be the burden i am.
WaterAttire Community Member 
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