So I'm dating this girl named Olivia...
Yeah she's cute, and she's mostly smart but there's just something about her that really detracts the way I feel about her.
I'm pretty sure some of my Art arena entries I wrote thinking about her, especially my entry, "The Darkness" emphasizing the quote in the second to last couplet, "I hope that shining light will never dim;/ and that our connected paths will never turn against each other..."
I wrote that saying I hope she never does anything that will make me not love her anymore, but now I'm not in love with her anymore; I'm not dependent on our relationship.
I spent so long trying to just get in a relationship with this beautiful girl, I was just dying to make her mine. Literally she friendzoned me since the moment I saw her (2012) and she was really hot. Like she really tried on her appearance and I respected that a lot. It wasn't just looks though. She wrote absolutely amazing poetry in the neatest cursive I've ever seen a girl write.
Every year there's a poetry jam for Freshman, and she absolutely killed the competition with her last poem, "I am not who you think I am."
I truly envied her skill, and it inspired me to continue on writing poetry and try to do the Poetry Jam this year (Last year I was gone during it).
She did so many hurtful things while she friendzoned me and I still didn't care I was a ******** walking Hulk willing to take all the bullets just to get with her (Hahaha xD)
We went to Disneyland (Class trip) and I literally made a wish in a well that we would go out by the end.
YOU SEE THAT s**t, THEY AIN'T ******** PULLING YOUR LEG ON THAT SLOGAN!
I asked her out on the bus while we were still in Disneyland! SHE SAID YES!!!!
Thats how my ******** brain and heart felt like!
We finally were together and it was the most amazing trip of my life... Seriously I don't even care if we end up breaking up, still the best trip and romantic story I'll ever have with anyone... ANYWAYS~
As we've been going out these past 7 months and 1 day literally things have been going down hill... She doesn't try to look pretty anymore, she acts really ignorant and unintelligent, and she looks like she's trying hard to flirt with other guys! (Okay JK just my jealousy issues x .x)
But no joke everything I liked about her just vanished over time... She's not even the same! She doesn't even write poetry anymore... She doesn't do anything anymore! All she does is yell at me and be moody and make scenes and make me depressed... Wow be careful what you wish for, right?
Yeah they should really change their slogan to this...
I don't know what to do I'm really not happy at all but I so don't want to see her cry... Life has to beeeee sooooo complicateeeddd aksdfjahsdkfjahsdf UGH.
Maybe I should just go gay............
...
Yeah Um that was a little dramatic...? Maybe I should just be single for a while instead myself?
...
So...... A gay route is a no-go?
...
Yup.
...
Never suggest that again?
...
Never
...
(Why am I so weird?? Lol)
So Journal and the random people reading, know my stress and my complications!
Comment if you'd like, I won't give you weird looks. (Unless you look like an ostrich, because that would just be weird....)
 Ikuo Jinichi · Fri Nov 22, 2013 @ 03:45am · 0 Comments |
