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So I don't know WHAT the deal is, but my Social teacher keeps picking on me.

...and it's not even friendly picking. It's harsh, rather offensive, picking that makes it evident to not only myself but also to my peers that MY. SOCIAL. TEACHER. HATES. ME.

Goodness, teacher, please pardon my errors! sweatdrop I can't help it that I do my work during class.

I can't help it that I multitask. Yeah, I can write and listen at the same time. Honestly, who do you think I am? I've got a developed brain. Well, developed enough, anyway.

Today, my social teacher, also my homeroom teacher, seemed to be very.. excuse my bluntness, but she seemed cranky.

Tired, she claimed she was. If the lack of rest makes you hate me, I beg you to please sleep.

For me, sleep doesn't effect my mood so much as my energy to produce it. For example, if I'm tired and sleep-deprived, I can still be happy. There are no limits, or should not be any limits at least, to happiness. And to any emotion, for that matter.

If I had a lot of energy in me, I would be capable of making my feelings more obvious. I could be extremely happy, or obviously pissed off.

I choose when I'm conscious to be happy, but today, I had a change of mind.

Today, I deliberately acted depressed.

"Lucia! STOP IT," my homeroom/social teacher said to me in homeroom after lunch.

"Lucia, please stop writing and pay attention," she says in social class.

Miss, sorry to offend you, but if I only see you in homeroom and social, giving me maltreatment in both classes does NOT make you an amiable educator.

You are young, I understand, and quite new to the teaching system. You expect too much from us and you don't give us what we need to reach your standards.

You're older than me, yes, of course, but you are not necessarily wiser. You can be more academically successful in the sense that you've finished school and I have not yet come to that, but please do not show your superiority in such a way that makes me almost loathe social.

Because, well, let's face it. Social is probably the most unappealing subject in today's school. The purpose to learn about history is to learn what we did wrong in the past and to not repeat those mistakes.

Guess what? We weren't the ones who made the mistakes. We didn't cause the wars. We're completely innocent in modern day's eyes.

I understand that history is interesting to some, but not everything that has happened in the past needs to be studied.

For example, why do we need to know the DATE of certain wars that DIDN'T TRIGGER ANYTHING IMPORTANT? Learning about wars isn't particularly my style... especially Canadian wars.

The thing about Canadian history is that it repeats itself; exploration, war, treaty, expansion, war, treaty, something else, war, treaty.

We can know from this pattern in event that simply informing us about what happened back then is not guaranteed to change what will happen now.

We learnt in history that we don't learn from history. Splendid quote, if I do say so myself. 'Tis a pity I don't remember the origin of it.

Anyways, point is, social isn't my most favourite subject (heck, it's not even close) and so yelling and scolding me when I'm learning it doesn't help me.

It doesn't help my studies, it doesn't help my self-esteem.

I have an extremely low self-esteem. I try to cheer myself up, but sometimes, that just doesn't work. I mean, surely it is like this for everyone at some point? confused

I grew up getting yelled at constantly.
For things I didn't do.
For things I did wrong.
For things others did and blamed on me.
For mimicking the actions of others.
For not being quick enough.
For not being quiet enough.
For not being loud enough.
For not being nice enough.
For not being forgiving enough.
For causing too much of a hassle.
For not being decisive.
For embarrassing my family and school.
For staying up too late.
For waking up too early.
For forgetting things.
For being sick and unable to get better.
For crying uncontrollably.
For being inconsiderate.
For being too smart, too stupid.
For being young.
For being old.

The list can continue. The last two mentioned points especially bother me. We're expected to act like adult and we're treated like children.

I've come across one too many teacher who say, "Act like adults and I'll treat you like adults."

Well, you know what? If you're a teacher and you're reading this, and you've said to your class to give respect to earn it, just think.

How can we act like adults when all we are exposed to are teachers? Teachers are adults, but they most definitely are not all mature like adults.

If teachers wanted their class to act like adults, you better let the students know. Rather than waiting on their move to act older, how about you treat us like we're older? It'll make us more used to the outside world and possibly get us to behave.

I find that in elementary, every student is on their own, and the teacher treats everyone according to their needs.

As I grew up, I realized that this wasn't the case. I realized that we are not longer separate students, but a class. What one person does affects the whole class.

Sometimes, that makes me hate school. How can anyone expect the same result from a group with such diverse humans? It's outrageous.

In Social, the WHOLE class got held back after school except for three people.

"I'm surprised Pamela was held back, too," I heard someone say. Pamela is a girl in my class, new this year, quite friendly, very sincere. It's true, she was quiet. She works hard, but her efforts are in vain due to her developing English. She should have been able to leave early today.

I was waiting for it, I'm surprised Lucia got held back with us.

Sure enough, the kid next to me said it.

It kind of went like this..
Some kid at the back: "I'm surprised Pamela was held back, too."
Teacher: "No, Pamela can be chatty."
Kid beside me: "You know what? I'm more surprised Lucia was held back with us."
Teacher: "I don't know. She was quite chatty today too."

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? SINCE HOMEROOM IN THE MORNING, I'VE BEEN ACTING DEPRESSED, ALL DAY. HECK, MAYBE IT WASN'T EVEN ACTING. I WAS FIGHTING THE URGE TO JUST LEAVE SCHOOL BECAUSE
I
AM
SO
FED
UP
WITH
THIS.

Goodness gracious! scream
To Mrs. Schulz, if you ever read this, I'm sorry for not being able to reach your expectations of me and for not being quieter than I was already trying to be.

Well anyhow, I have lots of homework to do, so I bid my temporary farewell! Thank you readers for reading my rants, and a good night to you if it's night where you are.

Today's lyrics (which you will be rewarded for if you comment the song title AND artist) are:
I've seen it before
It happens all the time
You're closing the door
You leave the world behind
You're digging for gold yet throwing away a fortune in feelings