So today, after French or something, I went to leave the room. Why leave the room? To switch classes of course. We switch classrooms with our classes.
Anyway, here I am, about to leave the room, when I realize the guy I like is in my path, and I'd have to get uncomfortably close when I pass by. I was like,
AIN'T NO HOW, NO WAY I'M GOING THAT WAY!
So I turn around to take another path out. Then, I see my friend, who was following me. My friends and I usually leave as a group.
We're tight, I tell you. Tight.
You know when you're leading a line-up? You can't exactly turn directly around. It's like a game of snake.
So I tried to turn around, was unable to, and was forced to walk my HIM. eek
And just as I'm risking my cool (yes, I said "my cool" wink , he stands up, because you know, he has to leave and switch classes too.
Man, I am SUCH an idiot. I self-consciously thought he would stay sitting the whole time.
And because I am me, I do this really retarded attempt to dodge him. Yes, dodge. I quickly shift my body to the opposite side of him. Normally, it'd look weird, but I would succeed. This time, I tried, failed, and my shoulder nudged his. redface
Being the person I am, I freak out, and I run. Like, full-out sprint.
And then, after calming down a bit. I turn around, expecting to see my friends, but nope. There he is, walking RIGHT BEHIND ME. burning_eyes So, I don't know why, I ran.
...to my locker. And then I hang myself in shame because I am such an idiot.
Ah, it was so awkward. I don't even know how to react. My friends are like laughing their.. body parts off, and I'm just like, shut up guys. stare
Just because I thought you should know, I try my best not to swear. So naturally, I could have swore up there ^ but I chose not to. Yes, I'm such an angel. /sarcasm.
Thinking back, I didn't have to run. I could have said, I don't know, like, "Oh, sorry dude. I tried to dodge you but, uh, guess I failed."
It doesn't sound much like me though. gonk
But running away isn't the way I normally would have handled it. Somehow, today was just.. strange?
Ah, I hate guys. I already have a life I can't understand, why make me more confused? I'd much rather abandon this whole emotion all together and just focus on my studies and whatnot.
Have you read Tonari No Kaibutsu? Yes? No? Well, the female main character has such a goal ideology in my eyes. She's smart, works hard, and succeeds in not involving herself with other people.
A lonely life, it seems. It's flawless.
Sometimes, I guess, flaws are what makes life fun?
I lied. I dislike life's flaws. A perfect life is impossible, but then, why does the idea of perfect even exist. If an idea exists, there has to be SOMETHING, right?
Or maybe I'm just thinking too much. Yeah? Yeah.
So, *sighs.* sweatdrop
I'm going to do this experiment. I'm going to isolate myself from guys.
This is probably my fourth experiment since seventh grade.
I'm going to see my reaction to being away from them, and their reactions afterwards if I get the desired outcome. Chances are, my grades will improve, my social circle will shrink.
Ehh, I'm not sure if I'm willing to risk it.
..but in doing this, I hope to ascertain my thoughts, and to gather information on how people react when separated intentionally. It'll be interesting. It'll be different.
"I like different," said in whatever tone you could come up with.
So yeeap. That's it for today. Bye byes!
Oh right. Thanks for reading!! 3nodding
And goodnight if it's night.
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If you could just visit my journal, that would be so awesome! I update often. It's sometimes kind of personal, but you can't keep it all bottled up inside, you know?[/align:3ff528bdd4]