raving ******** psycho * "May I lick your forehead?" * "You've stolen my heart, but thats okay because I have three more back home in the freezer!" I've got the body of a Chippendale. . . its buried in a garbage bag under my floorboards I was sitting there holding my chainsaw and I realized that I'd rather be holding you. I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it. Can I buy you a drink and then put these pills in it? This is a suicide note.You can either go home with me tonight, in which case I burn it. Or you can reject me, and they'll find this stapled to my chest in the morning. My life is in your hands. I was just bit in the crotch by a snake! Can you suck out the poison? And also put a finger in my a**? "Can I buy you a shrink?" You look familiar. Do you hang out in the women's restroom a lot? Excuse me Miss, would you like to drive across country and kill people with me? I have a really big p***s. You won’t regret this. Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back. Wait, I’m not a hooker. You can either go out with me or receive the beating of a lifetime. Choice is yours. I can make balloon animals out of condoms. Look... a dong! furry/ sleazeballer If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole? Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that a**! Your parents must be retarded, because you are special. Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn’t 3.5 inches and it ain’t floppy Hey baby, what's your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous curves ahead, yield? Wanna play house? You be the screen door and I’ll slam you all night long. “Baby, you've got great legs, what time do they open?” incestuous Damn, girl, that a** makes me think of my grandmother. Want to go back to my place?
inukitty25 · Mon Feb 27, 2012 @ 04:28am · 0 Comments |