my mind is dead.
i've been sitting in the same spot for two hours in the campus center, and while I love that I can focus awesomely here, I can't focus that long.
more or less I just don't want to do anything.
started reading some required stuffs, that fell through because I was zoning out; started writing a paper but I don't entirely understand what I'm doing so that fell through; started studying for a test tomorrow but I'm nervous to even think about such an undertaking.
and somehow I got on the topic of what's going down this summer, so I've been spending a while working on that.
weighing the options.
quite honestly, my heart tells me I want to go home. my brain tells me I want to stay in IA working a full-timer.
ideally i would do half and half: the first part of the summer at home, then come back to school a few months early for a crash course in radio before the next semester starts.
I need to talk to a few people before I decide. Talking to people in charge of royalty stuff to see how often we'll be doing stuff, talking to radio and college people to see if it's possible to do half and half.
the problem: who's gonna give me a job for 2 and a half months?
I suppose I could always go back to the high school job, but for 2 months on the schedule it really isn't worth it.
Many, many years ago I made a promise to myself, and to a person who had a large impact on my life, though I barely knew him. I still intend to keep that promise. I need to be home for that.
I guess I found out why I can't do homework.
sometimes important issues like this surface, and I NEED to get them cleared away before I can focus on anything else.
wrote a fragmented entry over this past weekend, debating whether to post it or not. might eventually... *shrug*
doing some soul-searching. on the verge of a conclusion.
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just watch me.
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