Sometimes you think that you can't depend on friends. Well, fine. Then you go to your parents, your family. But what if you can't depend on them either? Think of this analogy.
You fell down into this dark pit, and there are people walking up on top.
Every few minutes someone notices the pit and yells down at you, "What are you doing? Just climb out and be with us."
You yell back, "I can't! There's no rope! There's no ladder! Help me!"
But nobody listens. They go away. They come again.
They say, "What are you still doing down there? Just climb out!" You yell that you don't have anything, and to throw something down there--but nobody ever does.
I need someone to listen. I'm not asking for a problem-solver or someone to reprimand me. People think that it will go away at once. If it doesn't go away, then you are lazy. You are stupid. You are ungrateful. You are selfish, and a martyr. You are WEAK! You are just one of "those people". What should you do? Why should THEY be angry? Nobody chooses that. They have NO RIGHT to be angry. It doesn't go away overnight! Why should they snap at you? It's not right! I do not want sympathy! Don't give me that garbage.
My voice is very hoarse, and it's not because I'm sick; it's also not because I sang too much or something. Maybe I will feel better in a few days. I want to have some more time, just a bit more time, to listen to relaxing music and calm myself down. I feel so cramped, I have no personal privacy anymore. I want to be all right again.
Today I wanted to go to this volunteering event, but it interferes with my exam. D; I mean, I was going to have so much fun. Passing out water bottles at a marathon. Fun, right?
The people in my Christian Club keeps on claiming outrageous things. The president said (and here you could not get a more serious expression) that his friend had talked to a depressed man, and the man was instantly cured of his depression. This woman in Kansas, apparently, had legs that were paralyzed for years. After the aforementioned friend talked to her, she could get up and walk. Maybe I'm just being a little bit skeptical, but things just don't roll like that in the real world. Or maybe that woman's inspiration was just that miraculous. I know for a fact that sometimes people can be scared literally out of their paralysis. There was this story on the news a while back about this guy who had paralyzed legs, saw a snake in his house, leapt out the door, and drove away in a fright. But the story the president told us sounded just a bit far fetched. But I looked at some Christian inspirational quotes one other day, and it cheered me up for a bit.
We read Benjamin Franklin's autobiography the other day, and it was funny. XD Benjamin Franklin was entertaining. I think I would like him if I met him in real life. My literature teacher said that he would rather meet with Franklin than someone like Edgar Allan Poe. I think I would like to meet Edgar Allan Poe. Even if Franklin's supposed to be more charismatic, I don't care.
Yea, so my friend Chloe is doing something that I don't really like. She ate a cookie spiked with drugs, and she was "stoned" at around noon. I didn't really know how to react. To be honest, I felt uncomfortable when she was acting the way she did. Through her (most likely at the time) fuzzy consciousness, she told me, multiple times, as if she were talking through some kind of haze, not to get freaked out. She said her parents got mad at her for driving down to SF all by herself. I just told her very sternly that I STRONGLY DISAPPROVED, and to not touch one of those cookies again. She said she isn't going to.
I swear, she is going to get in trouble sooner or later. I don't want anything to happen to her. If she does something again, I'm going to lecture her or something. I should go with her myself to make sure she doesn't do anything. I am the most un-movable and stubborn person I know when it comes to staying out of that scene. I would sooner die. I am glad that I am immune to peer pressure. I don't drink. I don't do "social drinking". I don't drink beer. I don't drink wine. If I ever do, it'll be at my grandmother's birthday party. It's not because I live n a "sheltered, rich area" or something. (It is so untrue when people say that. Just because you are responsible and don't do drugs, don't have sex, does not mean you are "sheltered".) I'm just not fond of drinking in general. Just not my thing.
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Serene: To the General Public At Last
A few pieces of Ser's thoughts and life, which are carefully broken down from her life mosaic and preserved into this online journal. Read with care.
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