Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

seriously, the entire time I was getting ready this morning i kept murmuring "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, it's just........"

yeeeeeah, auditions yesterday were that horrible. emotion_facepalm I've never played that horribly in my LIFE. It was only afterward that it occurred to me why it was so strange: I've never had to play for a judge without an accompanist. I've been doing contest pieces for SIX FREAKING YEARS, but I had a piano to back me up each and every single time.

my shame is only multiplied by the fact that I was first chair in HS for the entire four years, and got a perfect score on my last contest piece. *sigh*

so yeah. Not good. at all. I feel sick. and I'll stay this way until I find out on Friday.

Actually, screw Friday; I know now that I shouldn't've even THOUGHT about being in any kind of band in the first place, because I think by this point I've considered it a shame and an embarrassment to be part of the community band.

just like being last chair clarinet for the pops concert.




the anticipation was kind of thrilling, though... while i was headed to the music "building" to practice (basically the basement of the auditorium), for the first time in my life I actually felt weak-kneed, and it only made things worse when I just about ran into someone I've been falling into a minor "like" with...

my knees were turning to jello, and the instant i got in a practice room I sat down, taking deep breaths as much as possible because my heart was going a million miles an hour and I couldn't catch my breath.

such is college and the anticipation of fear and shame and the like.

urrrrrr.


trying in vain to keep up on homework... last week I slacked off and didn't do anything that was due this week, so now I'm really paying for that... *sigh*

yet again, the weekend can't come soon enough. xDD

TWO HUGE TESTS ON FRIDAY, quiz today, paper due tomorrow, big quiz tomorrow, yadda yadda...

called a tow. my knight in shining armor will be here in less than an hour to pick up my poor, desolate car.

BECAUSE IT WON'T START.

gonk

think I'm gonna wait outside for him.