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I like it but would you mind if I offered a few suggestions?

When writing a poem I feel the first important step would be the use of figurative language. Giving your feelings human like emotions is what keeps the reader interested and adds originality to your poem or even figurative language is important for prose in that matter.

For example here are a few excerpts of "The Book Thief" by Markus Zusak:

*** A SMALL PIECE OF TRUTH***
I do not carry a sickle or scythe.
I only wear a hooded black robe when it's cold.
And I don't have those skull-like
facial features you seem to enjoy
pinning on me from a distance. You
want to know what I truly look like?
I'll help you out. Find yourself a mirror
while I continue.

I picked Zusak because he has been called the "Master Of Figurative Language"

Another thing, this is just my personal opinion but it may be more interesting to the reader to read a love story/poem with a twist. for example create a strong central force that is tearing them apart, and try to create a feeling of relief when this problem is solved. The reader does not want to read something where the characters you care about never solve their problems and do nothing of it, they like happy endings at least the general public does.

I hope I did not come off to you as "flaming" you poem, I am not. It is a good start and good idea keep writing!

its goods, but it just seems a little too short sweatdrop
maybe next time you could write a bit more? biggrin

short sweet and to the point .
lovely smile

i made it short on purpose

heart