HEYA.
can't say this has been an awesome DC experience; not a horrible one, either.
didn't do much.
at this point in my life, it's all BLAH.
plus going with mom was interesting.
she's old.
and a lobbyist.
and someone who can't NOT eat for a few hours.
and someone who doesn't like walking for even 15 minutes, and yet insists on walking halfway back to our hotel so she can take a piss and get a taxi. stare
plus the first word that comes to mind when it comes to the other 5,300 competitors at the open session?: faggots. disrespectful, horribly unappreciative faggots.
i mean, really. it's an honor to be competing at this level against kids across all over the nation, and to be HERE. so WHY THE HELL do they think it's okay to leave the opening ceremony even before the speaker talks?
and the wind was horrible. @.@ razink wants a picture for the paper...........
tch. yeah right. WE GOT OUR SHIRTS AND PINS ONLY A FEW HOURS BEFORE THE OPENING CEREMONY, AND I AM TO LEAVE BEFORE THE SUN RISES TOMORROW.
stick that in your juice box and suck it.
i really really really really really really really really wish that things were different.
that more people in our school cared about something other than sports,
so i wouldn't be alone.
and i could actually get something out of this experience.
that times wouldn't overlap so inconveniently.
that i could go back in time and fix things.
saw lots of peeps i know staying at our hotel.
thank goodness i ran into Cody in the elevator on the way to contest. :] we were emotional support for each other for the few hours we had to kill beforehand lol.
yup, extremely early.
lawl.
actually the contest was easier than i thought it would be...
here i was all scared there was gonna be a mail merge, but there wasn't. :]
was one of the first ones to finish. 90 minutes are allotted to us; i got done in 56.
after that i accidentally went to the wrong hotel. when i finally made it back, mom wanted lunch.
so we wandered around until we found a place called the Madhatter's. whee ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY DELICIOUS. *drools*
then back to the hotel for nap time (and discovering i forgot to pack contact solution lawl), then opening session we walked with some other kids from MN.
and some blonde bimbos who were calling each other bitches and talking to me like a 2nd grader in the elevator. -.-
so yeah. already vented about the very rude walking away (we were outside, right next to the washington monument), but in the beginning i guess it was already going downhill because it was then that we had to take a picture....
and wind does not permit glamorous shots of fat people.
so that pissed me off.
then trying to find a seat.
then yeah.
it was cold.
and rather boring
-ish. but alas, it was an experience that i've worked for, so might as well enjoy it. :] speaker was pretty awesome, tambien..^^
*sigh* and you know the rest of the story.
so tonight i'll finish packing, then tomorrow go home and catch up on social contacts stuff. @.@
and prom.
and 4-H.
and whatever the heck else is going on that i'm not even aware of because i haven't thought past saturday.
graduation is frustrating. only FOUR honor students, and none of us can come up with anything to do together for the ceremony.
I want to say a short speech. wayyyy deep, i wanna say stuff like "byebye, bitches. i hate you, you hate me, but this way we'll never see each other again." but alas, i have another side of the issue to think about... *huff*
pissed off at bob schultz today, too.
just cuz i can,
and because i'll be REALLY SUPER FREAKING GLAD TO BE DONE WITH THAT HELL CLASS THAT I'M NOT EVEN SURE WHY I TOOK.
b*****d.
yes, i know this is long. i applaud anyone who has gotten to this point and is still intently reading.
even though that's slightly creepy.
yet flattering...??? :S
because really, no one much cares about me, right?
i'm the fat one with a horrible history; today am quiet and socially inept when i do speak. I'm the one you feel sorry for when you finally talk to me, so you make it happen as little as possible. you think i'm weird and clueless, yet there's something that makes me always succeed at what i want to do.
not like you care, though.
newsflash, kiddos: I don't care, either.
i know how you feel about me; i know how i feel about myself; i know, i know, i know.
and believe me, to this day i wish i could change everything.
but you know what?
without my help, that change will be coming T-3 months.
now i need to focus on what i want to change to,
because there,
they won't know me.
they won't know my past.
they won't know anything that I don't show them about me.
i don't want to go to college, to be completely and entirely honest. i don't want school, but i don't want to work; i don't want to stay home, but i don't feel like i'd be inclined to do anything if i moved anywhere else.
dordt is a bunch of closeminded bible-thumping dutch people who know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING of the real world.
how's that for stereotyping? ;P
but when i think of it that way, i realize that it can't be that bad.
no matter what happens, no matter who or what ruins my day,
it's only ruined if i choose to make it so.
you can't control the situation; but you can control how you react to it.
so i guess that's the moral of the story.
life sucks for me, it sucks for you, it sucks for everyone, sweetheart.
but I refuse to let it drag me down further than it already has.
I'm proud of everything I've accomplished so far in life, I'm proud to have the opportunity to travel to Washington DC for the third time, when lots of people never have the chance to go.
i need to apply that lesson further, i know.
some people just need to apply it, period.
...................................................
tell me something I don't know. give me some glimmer of hope that maybe what I know isn't everything; that I am wrong about my assumptions.
bah moodiness. THIS is what happens when i get pissed off, as you can tell. :]
but now i'm tired.
contacts are being retarded, and it's late.
i hear fun outside; you have no idea how bad i want to join them.
how bad I wish that i could escape.
alas, 'tis bedtime. we'll see how everything goes, i guess.
View User's Journal
just watch me.
 |
