You can't get along with everybody, no matter how hard you may try. Nothing good ever comes out when speaking with Allie and Izzy, it doesn't matter who starts the conversation. Don't know why I added them on facebook in the first place as well... kinda just wanna forget about our history together. I'm good at still remembering certain aspects but can delete people out of my memory... though its harder when they are on my facebook....and in photos... JUST WHAT AM I TO DO!!!! scream gonk scream burning_eyes just want to punch them both in the face and make their nose bleed... they are probably thinking the same of me... we got along for the most part, cause we had to, but otherwise, we really did not get along. If it hadn't been for my cousin to of been with me, I probably would've asked to be sent home within a month of being there. Also... if my cousin wasn't my cousin, we wouldn't of gotten along either.
There would be certain times I would do things without thinking...well, it happened alot, they just didn't believe me when I said I didn't know why did certain things. How am I to explain something I have no idea why I did it in the first place?
Can people have multiple personalities from being bullied in school? I wasn't severely bullied, just with words... I never had anything to traumatize my life, except for the bullying by words in elementary school,the more I think about it, it makes more and more sense... but then again, that tends to happen any way for anyone studying psychology or other things similar, you start going crazy.
Must observe myself closer....
It would explain some things... though not all, and seeing how, I remember pretty much everything that I did, it wasn't a forgetful kinda thing... kinda bad for me to try and diagnose myself, but seeing how three years of therapy and tests haven't worked, it's been left for me to handle... don't think its multiple personality, but its a theory, and have many more theories of which i'm observing myself and studying about. Once i'm absolutely certain, i'll go back to a therapist.
OH also, according to my parents, they both said they never dropped me when I was little, but that still doesn't mean someone else did and just never told them. so thats another possibility.
I lost 5 pounds this week! so that makes it 25 pounds since I had gotten back home. Emily is the same weight as me now, so we are now competing against each other to see who can loose the most weight faster by July .She's two inches shorter then me, so her weight goal is lower then mine, but we shall see what happens. Oh, and all my pants have started to go baggy on me, they start slipping down and always have to pull them back on. And I swear my breasts have gone a size smaller... not too thrilled about that, but oh well. Trying to find a way to keep slightly big, without doing implants and the other expensive stuff.
Starting monday, I'm on an ovo-vegan diet! with 4hours workout a day! I don't care if my family are carnivores ( we eat meat every single day) somehow I will manage, it should be easy, If I can refuse chocolate without being tempted, then I can stop with eating a ton of meat every week as well. soon it will be to where I will eat meat once a week, if not twice.
still trying to find a morning job, but have decided that, even if I do, I will continue doing 4hour workouts a day, even if I have to wake up earlier sweatdrop
moraifa Community Member 
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