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Hey I’m not gonna lie,
I’ve been thinking about you a lot.
Not just you, my life,
But the rest of my life, ahead and behind.

Not sure,
so don’t ask why.
I’m not sure why
you all find my past so damn interesting.
I actually find it rather depressing.
I know, surprising, right?
Fantastic, right?
Why should I cry,
after you died?
Why should I want to fly
away from this damn mess I‘ve made?
After I left and broke both our hearts
in half, in half,
my world split in half.
I couldn’t tell right from wrong,
good from bad,
happy and sad
at the same time.
I barely remember those years.
A few years from my life were just missing.
Disappeared.
I was living in fear and I don’t know why
or how or why or how it got to that point
in time, in space,
Distance and time and place
so much space
between us, between us.
Why is there so much between us?
Amazing, really,
how much the world us hate us
to keep me from you and you from me,
how could it do that
to me, to me,
Stop talking to me.
Stop walking through me like there’s no one there
Just because you don’t care
about me and
My life, My life
amazing, my life.
Like you, like all of you
“friends” old and new,
for those of you who know who you are,
you don’t really though, know who you are.
So, Do you know me? Do you know anything about me?
Honestly, do you really know me?
Cuz you don’t. I mean,
I don’t even know myself.
I barely know myself.
Isn’t that awful?
Isn’t that dreadful?
I don’t know how to answer a simple question.
I don’t know what I like.
I think of all I’ve done and been through
And my mind is blank.
I don’t know.
I don’t know, I don’t know.
Shut up, I don’t know.

So there it’s all layed out for you,
Drawn out for you,
Mapped out for you.
And honestly I hope you take the time
to care enough to care.
And so I'm finished.
But I must be pretty stupid
To think that you’d understand me
in one ******** ugly poem.