yes, you. We need to have a nice long chat, because I have a lot on my mind that needs to be emptied.
Ok. So halloween was awesome, I guess... still think last year was my favorite, but nonetheless 'twas great.
then all last week was brilliant; i was happier than i have been for a long while.
but then this week came along. and totally killed me. Total lack of sleep, lots of homework, no motivation, and weird pains have been bothering me all week.
turns out I have something by the name of "torticullus" or something. s'posed to be treated via ultrasound stuff at the chiro 4 times before it goes away...... two of those are done.
because yesterday, Thursday, was definitely not my finest day.
From the very beginning: I was late getting to the chiro. Not like "holy crap we gotta get moving NOW" late, but enough to be a little nervous. made it back in time to direct the band or something at the end of first hour, second hour had spaghetti and stuff (nummy) but had to rush to get outta there... third hour the college professor came, which actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it was still stressful because i am an extreme VISUAL learner, and don't do audio crap very well. so the hour after that was crunch time because surprise! we took a test I was planning to take the day after. Then the hour after that, college math, I just completely lost it, and i have no idea why. Like I started working on my (neglected) assignment and I just started crying..... not loud, but just tears streaming down my face the ENTIRE class period. o.o;; plus by that time i had a horrible pounding headache, my neck hurt (which, btw, the torticullus thing is... basically the muscles on one side of my neck just flip out and hurt like freaking heck), i had a stomachache, and i was just sick of life.
so I left.
i went to the chiro again, then visited mom at work for half an hour or so, then went home and slept for 3 hours before going to play practice with karen. after play practice we went home, and mom gave me my paycheck and schedule from my boss, who she had seen earlier that day. Turns out I was supposed to work Thursday, but I wasn't aware of it because I didn't have my schedule. and my hours are being rather severely cut down because a new girl (who, ironically, is the girlfriend of the boss' nephew) is starting. On the plus side, my paycheck this past month was like double what it's been other months because I did construction cleaning that one miserable saturday.
so then i cried a great deal, paced the kitchen for an hour because I couldn't go on my compy because karen was typing an essay that she's had assigned to her for 9 weeks until mom told me to calm down and take a bath, where i proceeded to whine to God about my problems, cry some more, and then I went to bed.
and somehow, today went a lot better. :] a little bumpy in places, yes, but overall, much, much, much better.
until like an hour ago.
sooooooooo there's drama in our 4-H club. There's this family that just wants to take over the club............ i think they've lost sight of what it means to be in 4-H; in fact, i think we all have, in a sense. Being an artsie showed me what this organization is SUPPOSED to be about, and that ISN'T strict parliamentary procedure or sitting in a cold, drafty community room with kids who would much rather be somewhere else because it isn't FUN and EDUCATIONAL like 4-H is supposed to be.
so I have set out to change this.
BUUUUT that one family is posing a problem. because yeah.
because i think after I'm outta here, the club is going to fall apart.
because I wanted to quit four years ago, but mom wouldn't let me.
because it just isn't fun anymore. for anyone.
and my goal is to change that.
idk. it's just really bothersome that I'm trying to change something for the better, but they're being tight-assed about it. :/
i need to work on teamwork. they hate my guts; i hate how they walk around so high-and-mighty ((and don't even realize that NOBODY likes them.))
*shrugs*
church stuff is actually cooperating for once. finishing that up now, prolly gotta sub for dad's class sunday because of stuff happening tomorrow. (or rather, today, in 25 minutes)
*sigh*
quick celebration though: got a $7000 presidential scholarship to dordt, if I decide to go there. not nearly enough, but from initial snoops it looks like dordt will be about 10,000 cheaper than bethel...??
BE THE L
hah. xD retrum is hilarious. "what is the "L"? if you go there, you should come back and tell me what it is."
getting tired now.
still bothered by everything that's going on........... i do love my friends, though, for helping me through it. ^^
*snooze*
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