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When i was 5 or 6, i still drinking syrup in bottle.. I even talked to myself rather than to others. ALso, i say ‘matomato’ instead of ‘tomato’..

then at 7, i remember during my teacher filling up the detail for me, she asked me to choose 3 type of my dream occupation; i choose as teacher, nurse, & stewardess (i know nothing about these job at that time, just think that these jobs were cool enough for me..)

as i reach 9, i remember my first day wearing scarf. It is because my teacher commented about my hair. I know she meant nothing, but I was so sensitive that i decided to wear scarf the next day.., & the habit (wearing scarf) goes on till today..

When I was appointed to be one of the school prefects, i was ‘overjoyed’, thinking that i will rule the school with ‘claw’.. yeah, i beat the boys with thick, plastic ruler; blast out emotion whenever any student done small mistake.. yeah, really stupid work I did there at that time.. that is what i may assume as ‘having power..

But i really bad in sports; i can’t even finish running in 100m.. silly enough, i tripped myself during starting of jogathon, slipped my wrist though. I cried like my hand was pulled out.. (what a cry baby). I even didn’t understand the word ’shy’ untill one time while i was queuing up during sport training in my primary school. I was stand behind a senior. When the teacher ask to straightened the line, without thinking twice, i hold the boy’s shoulder. He whacked my hand, saying, “don’t you feel ashame touching boys easily like that?!” angrily.. I just stood still, kind a shock.. at that time, i felt somethin that i can’t even describe it..

then, at 13 i become so alienated with girls school at first.. no friends that i knew, i also understood that i’m in one of the best secondary school in the state.. I also knew that some of my friends even pass away due to an accident.. (one sided monkey-love, i assume).. THis time, i decided that i want to be a cartoonist, ‘realising’ that i have a gift of drawing Sailormoon.. (i think the drawing even not qualified enough to enter any contest nor just publishing it).. Still, no effort i did about it. Only know that my mum not so agree to it because it’s meaningless to my future..

after PMR, i think i ‘choose’ to go on at the same school, taking all Sciences subjects (chemistry, biology, physics, add math).. being so proud, thinking my dad is a doc, i may proceed smoothly all the years.. Actually NO. Even a school mate who her father works NOT as doc doing better than me.. worse still, i was too eager to ask whatever i don’t understand..
(there’s a saying “the worse of people is when he doesn’t know what he doesn’t know”)

after SPM, i was choosen to join PLKN (it's national service in my country) in Sintok-UUM for 3 months. I learnt something besides love-your-country spirit; be open. I was so closed to myself until a team mate of mine cried just because i was like that..

today, i still regret one thing.. i’m in a place of other who is more suitable should be.. but as long as i breath, i must go on with the rest.. -.-