A lot of the events, really. The last entry explained that I based the crew members' names based on Kuroshitsuji and said something like "Alois is suffering from hysterical pregnancy." And it depleted his health. So far I think these are lulzy:

"Ciel's intestines become a battleground for a insect gang war."
"Alois is bored of this thing that we call 'life'. (No encouragement is helping) To make Alois feel better, he shoplifts off of a nearby air ship. You gain 5 ammo."
"Alois is swindled by a televangelist. You lose 25 loot."
"Ciel accidentally fell off the ship while chasing a moth. (investigate the scene) The moth escaped unharmed. Shame about Ciel. Ciel dies."
"You fear that Sebastian has become a zombie, but have no proof. Due to your well-known history of psychotic hallucinations and unfounded accusations, the rest of your crew doesn't believe you. What do you do? You smother Sebastian, which logically shouldn't have been possible for a zombie, since zombies must be decapitated to be killed. Whoops! You temporarily lose the support of your crew. Sebastian dies. You gain 50 lbs of food, minus what your crew already ate."
"Edmund finds a vial labeled "Ce.Ch.be - Embryonic" (Grell wants to drink it. "Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!" wink Grell rapidly devolves into a dinosaur, and then gets better later. Grell's health decreases significantly."

This is the longest journal entry I've made so far. Granted, I did copy and paste all of these.

Ciel and Alois get the worst luck out of my crew members. Sebastian and Ciel died, too. Now I'm stuck with Alois and Grell. Crap.