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I'm stuck in a place where you can't go anywhere if you don't have a car. Just found out someone I care about deeply is visiting his girlfriend in Europe. I know we're just friends but still, even he said he has a close connection with me. But whatever. I already developed a liking for someone else that's so sweet, but I know he has a crush on someone else. But I only care about the guy in Europe. He says he cares too, but so many things make me doubt him. Sometimes I regret talking to the guy on facebook. He says he cares more about his relationships with his friend than the relationships with girls (as in girl friends). But if that was true, he would have come to New York to see me, at least once. I guess I just put to much trust in him. Maybe I should wait for him and trust him. He said he hates liars because he was lied to his entire life, so would he lie to me? He said he'll protect me, he said wishes he could since he lives a few states below me. He said he would never hurt me, but he doesn't even know how much he's hurting me right now. Every second I don't speak to him, knowing he's with his girlfriend, I get hurt more and more. He doesn't even know how much he's hurting me, and if he finds out, he'll be sad. I know I'm just ranting but hey, it's my journal right? I think I'm just jealous that he's spending time with her and not me. At the end of the day I always realize how much I really do love him.