So, this is the entry of the day where all the juicy stuff is. First of all, I let him put his arm around me and every day since then I've wanted to kiss him so bad, but then I remember where that disgusting perverted ground-tonguing mouth has been. It's hard though... it's hard to convince myself that I don't need him when I've built up this perfect image of him whenever he's away and now my version of him is this great looming mountain ahead of me... and I don't know where to go from here.
I know that the first step is to let go, but what then? Will the mountain go away? Will I have to talk it down the same way I talked it up? Will it simply disappear...no.
I just have close my eyes, say I'm over him, believing and wanting it to be true, then open them in faith... and it will be gone... as if it never had been.
My biggest obstacle in this journey is myself. I don't want to let go. Well, I want to let go... and dive into all that this guy has to offer and fall into the deepest depths that love has to offer and hide there as long as I can. I want to feel it just once. I want to have the most real and passionate romance that is possible and possible learn my lesson that it's not possible.. but not yet. First I want to fool myself and live in a fantasy of love that only an unbroken heart can experience.
I know that the first step is to let go, but what then? Will the mountain go away? Will I have to talk it down the same way I talked it up? Will it simply disappear...no.
I just have close my eyes, say I'm over him, believing and wanting it to be true, then open them in faith... and it will be gone... as if it never had been.
My biggest obstacle in this journey is myself. I don't want to let go. Well, I want to let go... and dive into all that this guy has to offer and fall into the deepest depths that love has to offer and hide there as long as I can. I want to feel it just once. I want to have the most real and passionate romance that is possible and possible learn my lesson that it's not possible.. but not yet. First I want to fool myself and live in a fantasy of love that only an unbroken heart can experience.
