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Wednesday, June 9th, 1:25AM , 2010. .

Dear Journal,

the title, subject, is what we tell all our friends when we are young.."let's be bestfriends forever!" but in most cases, such as mine..it doesn't turn out that way. I guess I should tell you about it since this is what the topic is based on "Friendship" so here it is.

His name is Billy. A real good friend of mine for many years ( like fourteen..since I've only been alive for sixteen and a half years. ) he was really cool and we used to do everything together. That was usually around our younger younger years, like 10 and down. Of course it's easier to get along with people when you are younger cause you don't develop harmones until then..I think. Anyways, like I said we used to do EVERYTHING together. We played video games, we played soccer, we went to the candy store that used to be around town. It was real fun times. I think I was far more mature then my friends were. I knew right from wrong, and stuff like that. But of course most kids my age do seem to know right from wrong..if raised right. I don't really know what went wrong with him and I. For some reason around the age of twelve I started ditching my friends..like ignoring them. I think Gaia kind of ruined my social life a little. I got soo stuck to the computer that I started acting like my friends were complete strangers. I kept getting nervous and not knowing what to say or do with them anymore. It's hard to do things with people when they get older cause as they grow up so do they're interests..

Anyhow..I want to skip a few years and go to the age of fifteen. I was in homeschool around that time. I couldn't actually handle regular school, it was pretty hard and kids these days are just soo harsh. So yeah, I went into that kind of schooling and..still ignored my friends. I don't know why I didn't just like, TRY to do something but I didn't. I decided around the..sixth grade to go to regular school again. I transfered to my friend's school ( Billy ) but it was quite troubling. First, like almost all the kids spoke spanish, terrible. The teacher was soo young, I'm pretty sure she had no idea what she was doing, and another thing..I got to the classroom late on my first day. That got me super nervous and plus nobody knew my name. It's like I wasn't even meant to be in that class from the beginning. I was just a stranger who just happened to end up in that paticular class. I also wore horrible clothes. Baggy pants, that I had to keep pulling up and they didn't even allow baggy pants. Luckly, I didn't get in trouble. The kids were harsh, especially the girls. I knew they talked about me, and it wasn't my paranoia either. I could tell. I couldn't even finish my homework in the class! for the first time I gave a blank paper, cause I had no idea what they were talking about, and I was afraid to ask the teach what this..means..and that. So yeah. Plus I had to take the bus..which wasn't so bad. I kind of liked it, but I had trouble finding out which bus was which.

Anyways, after about..three days I quit. I went back to homeschooling and I was happy. My friend was not, and I knew this on the day he came over. We were in my brothers room and we talked about why I didn't go to his school, why I went back to homeschooling and you know..he even said that if I went back to his school he would walk home with me everyday. I didn't even ask him to, that's what he said and honestly..if I could take that offer I would have, but I couldn't stand that school. If it was my other school, sure! but that spanish..mean school was just bad. I was ten times lonely then I was at my other school. Billy didn't understand that..and you know I even tried telling him that when we went outside and all I did was cry and stutter. I couldn't even speak right cause it was cold. So anyways..

we didn't talk for along time..and then I finally see him again, and he's super tall, and it's just soo awkward. He wants to play basketball with me..but it's just like..you replaced me with somebody else, and you don't even..

It was probably part my fault..but if anything. Before it's all over..I really want to see him again and have the time of my life! that's a goal, and I have faith it will all fall into place.

That's it for now journal.

Thanks for readin.