ℕσ ℒαвєʟ. ℑυsт ℂσяα.
ℂч∂ ℂнαяιssє Ϩσмєтιмєs.
By Pily~Ame
ℂ н α ρ т є я ２
ℬαкα~∂єsυ
xoxoxo☠"Cora! How could you do this to yourself?! And here you had me thinking I actually made a difference in your life!?" Yelling at me was my overall best friend, Mique. He had hair brown hair with streaks of teal flowing within it. His tan skin glistened in the dawn’s light as sweat ran down his face. His gentle hazel eyes were now filled with hurt and anger and it was all my doing. I don’t blame him. He did everything he could to change me into a better person. But I refuse to stay good. I can't help it. It's like rehab. You are taken away from the problem and you do good refusing the addiction. But once you go out into the real world surround by your familiar situation, if you're not strong and devoted enough, you are bond to crack. Yeah that's crack. One addiction, not mine, but most of rehabber's problem. I am ashamed of myself. I failed him.
xoxoxoWe were in the memorial area in the back of the school. This was our usual spot to chill in the morning. One of the students at Pindale died right here, on this spot where the swing that I'm sitting on was placed. I remember it happening. I was standing only a foot away from the scene. Well actually Cyd Charisse was there, but I transition during the middle of it. I remember feeling nothing as the boy dying. And then I felt horrible for not feeling horrible. But that was all the past. This is the now and right now I'm sitting on the white-chipped swings having Mique lecture me. I didn’t want to cry in front of him but that only made things worse because it seemed as if I didn’t care.
xoxoxo"Gomen, gomen.” I couldn’t look at him. I was unbearable.
xoxoxo“No, Cora, you’re not sorry because you did it once and I told you not to do it again. Yet here we are. Did you even think about STDs?” I totally forgot the fact that we didn’t use a rubber. I watched Mique pace around in a figure 8. I really didn’t want to listen to what he had to say. But why is that? Is it because I hate being told what to do? Is it because everything he’s going to say is right? Is it because deep inside I know that I truly didn’t try hard enough to stop Cyd? Or is it because I really don’t want to change…
xoxoxoI looked out into the distance, blocking out Mique angry voice. ‘It such a beautiful day…’ Cyd Charisse was right. The sky faded pink and the sun slowly peeking out the trees. A flock of crows dance in the breeze. I closed my dark eye lids over the crimson irises.
xoxoxo“Cora!”
xoxoxoI snapped back. I snapped back. ‘Sheesh, the boy won’t shut up.’
xoxoxo“Did you think about the possibilities of a baby?” A BABY?! I couldn’t hold my tears back any longer. A baby… I can’t possibly go through abortion. It’s inhumane, such a horrible alternative. A shiver slid down my spine uncontrolably at the thought. I grabbed my stomach as tight I could. I couldn’t help the tears flowing out my eyes. They just kept running. Mique took a seat next to me and warped his arms around my shoulder. He leaned me back as I just cried myself in his chest. His embrance was warm and comfortjb like a home should feel like. Unfortonately, mine never felt that way. “Cora, I didn’t want to make you cry but this is for real. Do you really think Jebus or whatever the ******** his name is going to help you take care of it?”
xoxoxoI doubt he will. I mean after he left the closet, Kirsten said that he grabbed his skateboard and took off without saying anything. I didn’t tell her what happen. Some things just should be left unsaid.
xoxoxoAlas, the bell rang which meant it was time for 1st period. Usually when I was in a bad mood and didn’t want to go class, I would find Tibby or Dimiri and go skipping with them but Mique warned me that if I left campus today he wouldn’t speak to me ever. And the last thing I need is to lose a best friend. So we made our way into the academy prison which we call Pinedale High and parted in the hallway. Walking into literature, Ms. Nelson welcomes me with a halfhearted smile.i sneer at the false act of goodwill and drag myself throught the classroom. Ms. Nelson is a fairly racist teacher. She tries to hide it but I can see through her mask of kindness and acceptance. It’s all a lie. She loathes me. It’s not because I’m Latina, nor is it because I’m Asian. It’s because I’m both. She doesn’t believe in mixing races. And she knows that I know. I made it clear to her that I knew when I did a report on the word ‘Prejudice’, of course receiving an A as a hush money.
xoxoxoAs I plopped myself between Clyde, the emo skater kid I pretend to have a stalkerish crush on, and Tibby. In frustration, I bang my head onto my desk. Note: it really hurt.
xoxoxo“What’s wrong my little Coralina?” Tibby asked picking my head up and rubbing my forehead.
xoxoxo“Oh nothing. I just did something pretty immature and now I might be pregnant, ‘tis all.” I said waving it off.
xoxoxo“Cora! Why? Are you going to tell, you know... Lance?” Tibby tried to stay at a hush tone. Clearly I won’t be getting out of this conversation.
xoxoxo“Ugh! Oh My God! I totally forgot! Jesu--gah! Gees! I can‘t even say that name anymore!”
I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms on the desk and burying my face into them. Really, out of all the names it had to be Jesus.
xoxoxo“Why not? Don‘t tell me that was his name.”
xoxoxo“It totally was. And it was at f‘n church.”
xoxoxo“Oh my Gees, Cora! I can‘t believe it!" She shoved my playfully. "Cora, you managed to dirty up one of the holiest and purest place in the world. You kinky b***h.” Tibby laughed at the end implying she was only kidding. I laughed along but this was no laughing matter. I had to tell Lance.
xoxoxo
