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well, the chain reaction accured as much as we all tried to stop it 3 days ago Jamie 5 days later Jason. Wow this really hurts. I loved her very dearly, Jamie was my girlfriend of 2 months as of today. As sad as it was I couldnt bring myself to cry as I sow her dead body in that caskit, she look nothing like she should have, it hurt so bad inside. I'm dearly miss he hugs and love heart . I hole in my heart as deep as the night sky. I Dated her about 3 years ago for a year, 8 months and 2 or 3 weeks, we had just gottin back toget her. but Pat was her ex boy friend and he blamed her for his death. So very not right but she couldnt take it and now she is also gone. Gone like the happyness in my heart they take it all away. Then Jason, he took the only chance he could. Figured if they could do it he could as well. That then broght back my tears to cry. After pats and Jamie me and him talked alot I talked him into living he did the same for me. But now I see he wanted it more then I. I know now that that hug he gave me as he left was the last I would get because 6 hours later at 11 in the night I was chating on gaia and I got that call. Jasons mom asked where he was and told me he had never come home from my house. I told her he had left to go home, I then hurd her cry and ask me if I knew where he might be because earlyer he had told he he wanted to die and was never going to make it throught this hell of a life. Then leftand said he was going to davids, he lied, he came to me. I was not there for him like I should have been, I should have made him stay and talk and cry but he wanted to leave. he said he was going to go strait home and off to bed. I wish im a dreamless sleep becuase latly me and him where having nightmares of are friends. In the mornign I went over to him house and his mom told me the bad news we cried together for at lest 3 hours and I ask what he did, he took pats way out, after promising he wouldnt he did it crying a gun shot but not through the mouth. he shoot himself in his temple in his garadge, his mom hurd the shot around 2 in the morning. It hurts when I cry and even more when I dont its all I can think and dream about now.... well I just can help but wounder and hope that they all mad it to heven but I dont know what they believed so I dont know what to think happened to them for I believe if you follow your reliegion then you will go to heven because there would be to many people in hell other wise, when you think about it if your reliegion is right and only lkike 1 out od every 100000 people belived it then well there would be a very little in heven expeshally if only the people that believe and fallow right get to heven....

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